8 Years In, And I’m Still Figuring Out This Parenting Journey

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I was chatting with some other moms about teachers, school policies, and upcoming events. The atmosphere was filled with warmth and connection. Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being a fraud—like I was merely pretending to be a parent.

Ever since I was 5 and cradling my newborn sister, I knew I wanted to be a mom. Those tiny fingers, soft hair, and that adorable little face drew me in completely. I was the ultimate helper to my mom, always eager to care for my sister, dreaming of having kids of my own someday. Fast forward, and here I am with two kids (I can still call them babies if I want!). Honestly, the baby stage felt like a breeze. Their needs were simple: feed, cuddle, change, repeat. Sure, I had my doubts and moments of utter exhaustion, but I generally knew what to do.

Then came the next phase, and that’s when I started to feel lost. While some things still felt intuitive, so much of the time I felt like I was just winging it.

Dinner Dilemmas

Take dinner, for instance. Every night, I transform into a short-order cook, whipping up multiple meals that often get rejected. It’s frustrating, and I want it to change. I’ve heard that the key is to offer a few choices and then stick to them—either eat what’s served or wait for the next meal. I tried that for a few days. My younger son managed alright, mainly eating strawberry yogurt, while my older son had a full-on meltdown on the floor for hours, a hungry little tornado of frustration. Normal parenting advice just doesn’t seem to work for him. So, I’m back to being the kitchen’s short-order chef.

Endless Questions

Throughout the day, I’m bombarded with endless questions that I don’t have answers to. Should I focus on organic foods or save for their college funds? Should I work more or less? Do I push for piano, swimming, and art lessons, even though I’m not a fan of a packed schedule, or do I let them run wild? Did I listen to their stories enough? Did I shout too much? Is that couch with all its flame-retardant nonsense going to harm us? What about our phones—are they our little cancer sticks?

Living in this age of overwhelming information doesn’t help. Articles online contradict each other, and my social media feeds are full of parents claiming to have it all figured out, if only for a day. It feels as if every choice I make is loaded with importance.

Feeling Overwhelmed

Sometimes, I wonder if it’s fair that I’m the one making these decisions. I’ll be 40 soon, yet I still feel like that little girl holding her baby sister.

Parenting is chaotic—not just in terms of the mess (right now, my living room is a battlefield of tape, dirt, and 78 Matchbox cars). Most days, it feels like I’m failing. We’re often just trying to figure things out as we go, with plans derailing due to cranky kids, stubbornness, and our own exhaustion.

Maybe the only certainty in parenting is that we know nothing at all. I genuinely believe that love, in the form of hugs and cuddles, can solve a lot (and I felt pretty competent during the baby phase). Sometimes I think that’s all I’ve got, and maybe that’s enough for now. The rest? Well, it will all fall into place eventually.

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Summary

This article reflects on the ongoing challenges and uncertainties of parenting, where the author shares personal experiences of feeling like an imposter despite having a deep desire to be a mom. The journey through different stages of parenting can often feel overwhelming, and the pressure to make the right choices adds to the complexity. Ultimately, the importance of love and connection shines through, suggesting that sometimes, that’s all you really need.