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Teaching Our Kids the Importance of Epic Failures
“Throughout my journey, I’ve missed countless opportunities. I’ve faced numerous setbacks. There were moments when I was given the chance to shine and fell short. I’ve stumbled repeatedly in life, and it’s precisely these failures that have paved the way for my successes.” — Inspired by Michael Jordan
“It’s impossible to navigate life without facing failure at some point, unless you choose to live so cautiously that you may as well not exist at all, which ironically is a failure in itself.” — Echoing J.K. Rowling
“Only those willing to risk significant failure can hope to achieve remarkable success.” — Reflecting Robert F. Kennedy
Yet, there’s a more profound kind of failure that can be even more painful, costly, and enlightening. It’s that moment when you hit rock bottom, experience true defeat, and feel as if you can’t piece your life back together. It’s a crushing experience, but often it’s just what you need to rediscover your path.
I stumbled upon some enlightening insights about the lessons derived from these significant falls on a blog, and what you can learn from hitting the ground hard: You discover resilience, realize that hope isn’t lost, recognize that starting anew is possible, and eventually, you face a choice: do you wallow in your sorrow or harness it to begin again? But to fully grasp this, you usually have to crash rather spectacularly.
While I would hate to see my kids experience such challenges, it’s probably why I shy away from discussing them. Sure, we can prepare them for disappointments, even the big ones, but the notion of telling them they might face a monumental crash at least once in their lives—and that it could ultimately be beneficial—feels daunting. Is there a way to ready them for this?
Perhaps they’d prefer to learn life lessons from the stories of those like Sam, who once lost everything and was left with only a suitcase filled with dreams. Or maybe they’d find inspiration in the tale of the inventor who lost everything and ended up living in his car.
But maybe it’s more impactful for them to hear about someone closer to home—someone not famous but who has faced their own struggles and found joy on the other side. I’m their mom, the one who keeps their world stable, yet I’ve faced my share of spectacular failures too, which completely reshaped my life.
As we navigate their childhood, it’s tempting to shield them from life’s harsh realities, focusing solely on the bright side. But I can’t help but wonder if I’m overlooking something vital by glossing over my own experiences with failure. I remember being blindsided when I faced my own challenges, questioning why it had to happen to me, unaware that I wasn’t alone in my suffering. It took me far too long to recognize the lessons to be learned from it all. So, should I share my story with them? I think so—when the time is right.
I hope they’ll be open to hearing my story when they’re ready, and I want to be there for them if they ever find themselves in a similar situation. A crucial takeaway from the article I read was this: “Though it may not seem clear now, everything falling apart could be exactly what you need,” as Paul Hudson wisely noted. “When we feel we have nothing left to lose, we often give life our all, fighting with everything we have.”
Keeping our struggles hidden from our kids is an easy temptation, but the more I contemplate it, the more I realize that sharing our own failures can provide them with invaluable lessons. After all, I can’t think of a better way to teach resilience.
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In summary, teaching our kids the value of failure—especially the spectacular kind—can lead to profound growth and understanding. While it’s challenging to share these experiences, doing so can prepare them for the inevitable ups and downs of life.