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Perimenopause: The Unspoken Reality of Womanhood
Let’s talk about one of the best-kept secrets of womanhood: perimenopause. This often-overlooked phase ramps up the usual monthly challenges right before menopause really takes over. While many women are somewhat familiar with menopause and might even dread it, most don’t realize they’re experiencing perimenopause until it hits them. It’s kind of like a stain on a white shirt or an unexpected invite to a friend’s multi-level marketing pitch.
Years ago, I stumbled upon the concept of perimenopause in a roundabout way. I was in my twenties, working at a production studio when a fortysomething client—who had a penchant for sharing too much—told us an awkward story. She was at a business dinner with a group of men when she suddenly realized that her period was about to make an unannounced appearance. Caught off guard, she begged the men and even the restaurant manager for anything to help manage the situation, but they just didn’t get it. “Ladies,” she exclaimed, “you know the urgency when it’s coming, right? How crucial it is to prepare?”
My coworker and I exchanged confused looks. We were supposed to empathize, but we had no clue what she was talking about. After she left, I turned to my partner, bewildered. “Was she really just talking about getting her period?” I asked. “Yup,” she replied, rolling her eyes.
At that time, my own period was unpredictable and didn’t make a scene like that. Fast forward to my early 40s, and I finally understand her plight. The relatable stress of an impending visit from your monthly guest has a whole new meaning now.
I’ve since learned that my former client was likely dealing with perimenopause—a term I barely recognized until recently. No one discusses it until you confide in a friend about feeling a bit off or notice that every moment of restraint is a battle. Or when you start to wonder why you have bizarre fantasies about your partner’s head inflating like a balloon when he misloads the dishwasher—no, that’s not specific at all!
It’s no surprise that we keep quiet about these issues. After all, once we hit our teenage years, talking about periods feels like a taboo. We use euphemisms like “Aunt Flo” or “shark week” to mask the truth. Men? They don’t want to hear about it either. When I shared with my husband that I was writing about perimenopause, he quipped, “Great! I’ll write a post about my itchy ball sack.” Real poetic genius, right?
Perimenopause is like a crescendo in a symphony—bigger, louder, and more dramatic. If I had a time machine, I’d go back and offer that client a heartfelt “Amen, sister!”
Understanding Perimenopause
According to WebMD, perimenopause is the transition to menopause, triggered by a decrease in estrogen production from the ovaries. And it comes with a delightful array of symptoms:
- Hot flashes
- Tender breasts (and maybe droopiness?)
- Intensified PMS
- Diminished sex drive (as if parenting hasn’t already zapped it)
- Discomfort during sex (this one is just sad)
- Fatigue (a.k.a. general grumpiness)
- Irregular periods (like my client dealt with back in the day)
- Vaginal dryness (yikes!)
- Unwanted leakage when sneezing or coughing (or laughing)
- Urgent bathroom needs (“I need to go right now!”)
- Mood swings (more grumpiness with bursts of joy)
- Trouble sleeping (trust me, this one gets worse)
And let’s not forget the return of teenage acne—because why not? One friend lamented about the unfairness of having wrinkles and breakouts at the same time. Unfortunately, some women even get it on their backs and chests. On the bright side, at least one part of your body still resembles a teenager!
The unfortunate reality is that this is just the beginning. Menopause is the main act we’re all gearing up for, and it’s not exactly a thrilling thought. According to WebMD, menopause is on the horizon. For some, perimenopause lasts only a few months, while for others, it can drag on for a decade. It typically starts in the 40s, but some women notice signs in their 30s too.
If you’re like me, the word “menopause” feels foreign and distant. We know it’s coming, but part of us thinks, “Not yet! I’m not old!” But the symptoms are real—like the mood swings and fatigue I’ve been experiencing recently. Just the other day, I almost had a meltdown with my son over a Star Wars debate. Thankfully, I took a moment to breathe before channeling my inner Princess Leia.
Let’s Talk About It
If this resonates with you and you felt just as blindsided about perimenopause, feel free to share this post. Embarrass your younger colleagues by forwarding it to them. Inspire the men in your life to share their discomforts, too. Let’s talk about our experiences and shine a light on this often-ignored aspect of womanhood. And while we’re at it, let’s laugh about it instead of crying over our youth—just be careful not to laugh too hard, or you might have an accident.
If you’re curious about more related topics, check out this other blog post for insights. And if you want authoritative information on home insemination, visit Make a Mom. For excellent pregnancy resources, don’t miss March of Dimes.
Summary
Perimenopause is an often-ignored phase of womanhood that brings a mix of symptoms and a sense of urgency that many women are unprepared for. As we navigate this transition, it’s important to share our experiences and support one another through the challenges we face.