As the mom of a soon-to-be 12-year-old girl, I find myself revisiting some of the most challenging moments from my own adolescence. It’s like I’m living through my past all over again, but this time, I’m watching my sweet daughter, Lily, navigate these experiences, too. I wish I could be the all-knowing guide for her, but let’s be real: does any tween ever think their mom has a clue?
1. Bra Shopping Dilemmas
I can still vividly picture the small dressing room at Lord and Taylor, where I had my first bra fitting. The soft music playing in the background, the smell of strong perfume, and a saleswoman who seemed to be on a mission to find the “perfect size” for me while my mom yelled from outside. I felt so exposed and anxious, wondering if anyone would notice I was wearing it.
Fast forward to my trip to the store with Lily for her first bra. The atmosphere may have changed—now it’s flashing lights and the scent of trendy perfumes—but my heart races with the same worries. I can’t help but feel like we’re both in for a ride. As she complains about the fit and comfort, I do my best to reassure her and keep her calm. After what felt like hours, we finally settle on a comfy sports bra. Exhausted but happy, we leave the store victorious.
2. The Mean Girl Syndrome
When my sixth-grade best friend, Mia, suddenly decided to ignore me, it was like a knife to my heart. I had no idea back then that this would just be a passing moment for her, influenced by her own preteen drama. I remember how it felt every time I walked into the cafeteria and saw her pretend I didn’t exist.
When Lily faced a similar situation with her friend starting to act distant, I thought I could help her navigate it smoothly. But reliving that memory hit me hard; seeing her hurt was almost unbearable. I felt the urge to intervene, but instead, I guided her to handle it like she does with our cat, Muffin. Ignoring the cat when she tries to get attention makes Muffin come running back. It seems to be working for now, and I’m grateful for that.
3. Awkward Encounters with Boys
Thinking back to those cringe-worthy moments when Andrew would call me out of the blue, I remember the mix of excitement and embarrassment. Those long pauses during our conversations left me feeling lost.
Hearing Lily chat with her crush, Max, brings back all those awkward vibes. Their conversations are filled with nervous giggles and silly questions, and I can’t help but cringe while being reminded of my own experiences. I have no secrets to share about boys—I’m still figuring that out myself! For now, I can only watch and hope she manages the rollercoaster of emotions that come with young love.
4. The Big Talk
Sitting down with Lily for “the talk” was just as uncomfortable for me as it was for her. I clearly remember my own awkward conversation about growing up, which involved a book and a few awkward explanations from my mom.
When it was my turn, I stumbled over my words, trying to explain the changes she’d go through. Lily squeezed her eyes shut in embarrassment, and I felt every bit of that discomfort. Even though she had heard some things in school, it didn’t make it any easier for either of us. I reassured her that this was just the beginning of an ongoing conversation, and I hope she’ll feel comfortable coming to me with questions in the future.
5. Navigating Puberty
Ah, puberty—the gift that keeps on giving! Breakouts, mood swings, and body changes are all part of this wild ride. I can’t help but feel like I’m going through it all again with Lily.
Instead of pointing out the changes, I try to provide her with tools to manage them. Little things, like leaving a facial scrub in the shower and helping her with shaving, go a long way. I aim to ensure she feels supported without calling attention to every little change. When she feels self-conscious about her skin or body, I just listen and offer to help in any way I can.
In the end, I realize that while I’m reliving my past, I’m also creating a new narrative with my daughter. Together, we’re navigating this challenging journey, one awkward moment at a time.
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Summary
As a mother to a tween daughter, I’m reminded of my own adolescent struggles—from bra shopping and navigating friendships to dealing with boys and the awkward conversations about changing bodies. While I relive these memories, I strive to be a supportive guide for my daughter, helping her navigate her own journey with understanding and care.