The Shifting Landscape of Motherhood

It’s funny how certain memories stick with us. I can’t quite recall what made it so daunting, but I remember a chapter from my eighth-grade science book that left me feeling uneasy. It was all about plate tectonics, and while I didn’t fear the science itself, the concept of those massive earth plates shifting and causing upheaval was unsettling.

Reflecting back, I realize that it wasn’t just the science that scared me; it was the realization that those shifting plates would be a metaphor for my life. As a teenager, I understood that life would be filled with seismic changes that would alter my landscape in ways I couldn’t predict.

What Do Those Shifts Look Like?

They’re often monumental: graduations, college life, careers, marriages, relocations, and of course, children. Each one feels like an earthquake in its own right.

I vividly recall the anticipation of my son, Leo, arriving. Transitioning from one child to two seemed overwhelming. My daughter, Mia, had been the center of my world for four years, and I dreaded the thought of juggling a diaper bag again and starting from scratch. How would I fit another person into our dynamic? I worried that Leo would never get a chance to speak with Mia always commanding the floor. Little did I know, they’d often both chime in at once, with my husband and the TV adding to the delightful chaos. There’s truly no shortage of voices in our home.

Somehow, I navigated the transition from one child to two, and I adapted to the new normal. I’ve managed other shifts too: moving from a small apartment to a house, tackling a long-overdue kitchen renovation, and overcoming career challenges and health scares. The landscape of my life keeps changing, and I’ve held onto the illusion of control, tidying things up where possible—packing lunches the night before, updating calendars, and paying bills on time.

Subtle Shifts

While the big shifts, the ones that feel like earthquakes, are glaringly obvious, there are subtle shifts happening all the time. The ground may be quaking beneath my feet, but it’s much harder to notice the gradual changes. I tend to appreciate the good things after surviving a major upheaval, but I wonder: Am I taking time to appreciate the beauty in the moment? With constant changes, when do I pause to enjoy the view?

Recently, I’ve sensed another shift looming. The ground is trembling beneath me, but it’s not just about my kids, though they are changing too. Mia is about to enter middle school, and Leo has mastered the early years of elementary. My career is progressing; I’m not just coasting, yet I’m no longer striving to prove myself as vigorously as I once did. I’ve overcome many hurdles balancing work and young children, but still, I feel a sense of unease.

The Pressure of Expectations

For over 11 years, I’ve been a full-time working mom, and I often feel boxed in by societal expectations. The pressure of “having it all” can feel like a tightrope walk, and I’ve put in immense effort to nurture my children, advance my career, maintain a pleasant home, and grow in my marriage. And yet…

The shift I’m experiencing tells me it might not be enough. I’ve amassed a lot, but I’m not savoring it nearly as much as I should be. I’ve reached some peaks in my journey, formed by the collision of choices made and not made. Yet, even at those high points, the view is often dimmed by the clouds of my hard work and the intensity of the effort involved.

Embracing Joy

There’s still time for me to embrace more joy as I navigate these new trails ahead. I can look forward to the peaks, but I also need to stop fixating on the path and appreciate the scenery along the way. Motherhood, like life, isn’t only about waiting for the summit; the valleys hold their own beauty too. We learn that it’s not sufficient to simply reflect after the ground shakes. There’s so much beauty to be found, even amidst the labor of molding our landscape.

We can’t control the shifting geology of life. The tides may shift quickly, and the sands may erode, but this current change is urging me to slow down. To find comfort in companionship and occasionally remind myself to pause and appreciate the new vistas that unfold.

Summary

Motherhood is a journey filled with constant shifts and changes, much like the tectonic plates of the Earth. Each major life event, like the arrival of a child or a career move, can feel like an earthquake, while smaller, subtle changes happen all around us. As we navigate these transitions, it’s essential to not only focus on the peaks but also appreciate the beauty in the valleys and everyday moments of life.