Why Staying Together for the Kids Doesn’t Benefit Them

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You know what’s a common debate among parents? How to cushion the blow for the kids during a divorce. But here’s the truth: no matter how amicable the split might be, it’s still going to be tough on them. There’s no way around it.

A friend of mine, Jason Rivers, once shared a heartfelt story about his own experience with a crumbling marriage. He described feeling like they were just going through the motions, like two empty shells waiting for a change. He considered sticking it out for the kids but eventually realized that living a lie isn’t the solution. I’m totally on board with this perspective, but I think it’s crucial to highlight that staying together for the children doesn’t actually help them in the long run.

My parents divorced when I was eight, and back in the day, that was pretty rare. Fast forward to today, and divorce is far more common. Many of my friends grew up in similar situations, and even my partner has experienced it—I’m his second wife, which still sounds odd to say.

What I’ve Learned About Divorce

Here’s what I’ve learned about divorce: it’s healthier for everyone involved, especially the kids, to move on. They deserve to embrace their new lives just as much as you do. If you want your children to find real love and happiness in their future relationships, they shouldn’t be stuck in a home where the marriage is falling apart. What kind of lessons are they learning from that? All the negative vibes might be hidden, but they can sense it.

What truly benefits kids is witnessing their parents in healthy, loving relationships. They shouldn’t grow up thinking that marriage is about enduring a tense coexistence. Show them that love is worth pursuing and that it’s okay to take risks. Even if you’re the one moving out, you can still be present in their lives and demonstrate your love without pretending to be happy together. Life is about growth, and even though it’s hard, both you and your children need to move forward. If you can’t, they won’t either, and you’ll all find yourselves stuck.

The Importance of Moving On

I believe in marriage and the commitment that comes with it. You should fight for it, nurture it, and try your best to keep it intact. But sometimes, despite our best efforts, it just doesn’t work out. When that happens, it’s essential for everyone, including the kids, to move on. This is the healthiest choice you can make for them. Show them that they are deserving of love and that even when things go sideways, there’s still hope for a brighter future. Staying together for their sake just ends up making them feel trapped, and trust me, they won’t appreciate it.

Additional Resources

For more insights on navigating these challenges, check out this post. And if you’re looking for information on home insemination, CryoBaby is a great resource. Additionally, this site offers excellent information on infertility and family planning.

Summary

Staying together for the children’s sake can be more harmful than helpful. Kids benefit from seeing their parents in healthy relationships rather than enduring a strained marriage. Moving on allows everyone to find happiness and sets a positive example for the future.