The Hilarious Language Gap Between Parents and Kids

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One of the funniest parts of being a parent is witnessing how kids twist our words. When they’re toddlers, their interpretations can be downright adorable. For instance, they might say something like, “I’m so excited to see that bunny!” when they really just mean they’re happy to spot it. But as they grow, the gap in understanding seems to widen, even though they should be picking up our language.

Take a simple command like, “Go wash your hands with soap and water.” You’d think it’s straightforward, right? Instead, you might find your child completely ignoring the sink and heading straight to their room to add doodles to the mess on their hands because “washing hands” somehow translates to “time for art” in their world.

I’ve been watching this phenomenon unfold with my own elementary school-aged kid, and I think I’ve decoded some of it. Here’s a little guide to what common phrases really mean to kids:

What You Say vs. What It Means To Kids

• What You Say: Go get dressed.
  What It Means To Kids: Time to retreat to my room and build something epic with Legos instead of putting on clothes.
• What You Say: Put your laundry away.
  What It Means To Kids: Open every drawer and toss clothes around like confetti, but don’t bother closing them.
• What You Say: Take a shower.
  What It Means To Kids: Stand in the shower and avoid scrubbing anything below my shoulders—emerging still dirty!
• What You Say: Stop wrestling with your sister.
  What It Means To Kids: Sit on her instead; that’s way more fun.
• What You Say: Save your video game and come to dinner.
  What It Means To Kids: ALERT! This is the end of my gaming life! Panic mode activated!
• What You Say: I’m going to the bathroom.
  What It Means To Kids: Stop everything and discuss the most pointless topic imaginable until you’re about to burst.
• What You Say: Go clean up your room.
  What It Means To Kids: Enter my room, shut the door, and spend half an hour hunting for silly words in a dictionary.
• What You Say: I’m busy, I’ll be right there.
  What It Means To Kids: Time to find Mom and demand help with something I probably shouldn’t be doing.
• What You Say: Where did you put your shoes?
  What It Means To Kids: Awesome! Mom is on a shoe hunt for me.
• What You Say: What did you do in school today?
  What It Means To Kids: This is a powerful eraser for my memory. Expect a blank stare and “I don’t know. Nothing.”
• What You Say: Please stop imitating that Uncle Bob show.
  What It Means To Kids: My rights are being violated! Time to call the ACLU!

Sadly, I haven’t cracked the code on getting kids to find their own shoes or answer questions about school. For now, I’m just repeating myself—louder and louder—until they kinda do what I want.

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In summary, navigating the language gap between parents and kids can be a hilarious challenge. Kids have their own unique interpretations of what we say, often leading to unexpected and entertaining outcomes. While we might not always get them to follow directions as intended, their responses remind us of the joys and quirks of parenting.