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I was just being sarcastic!
Sarcasm is my go-to humor, and I’ve used it so much that my son, Jack, picked it up quickly. Now, when I say something like, “I’m super excited for our trip to the dentist,” he fires back with, “I was being sarcastic!” The kid has certainly learned well. -
You do know junk food isn’t good for you, right?
On days when I crave a Coke Zero, Jack makes sure to remind me of the dangers of junk food. He loves to recount a YouTube clip showing a bottle of Coke reduced to a sticky sludge—definitely revenge for all those times I warned him that too many nachos would turn his insides bright orange. -
I don’t get it. What’s so funny about that?
There’s an old show called “Drake & Josh” that Jack and his buddies find hilarious. I’ve often complained, “What’s funny about that?” Now, when I try to share something amusing, he mirrors my annoyance with the same question. It’s become so frustrating that I’ve even tried—and failed—to see the humor in the show. -
I need some ‘me’ time.
Every parent has had those moments where they just need a break, even if it means hiding in the bathroom for a bit of peace. Jack, however, has redefined “me time” as any moment he’s trying to avoid chores or homework, especially when I give him a five-minute warning for swim practice. -
Wow! When did you last brush your teeth?
Jack used to revel in being a bit smelly, but now it’s a sensitive topic. Whenever I indulge in a garlicky dinner, he’s quick to call me out on my breath, which is a bit of a role reversal I never saw coming. -
Why do I have to do everything?!
This phrase often escapes Jack’s lips whenever he’s asked to pick up after himself. Just wait until he realizes what “doing everything” actually means, right? -
When my friends come over, it’s not a playdate. We just hang out.
For years, Jack called my gatherings with friends “playdates.” Now, he’s too cool for that term, although I hope he’s not looking forward to any wine for many years! -
I’ll be in my room. I need my space.
This one usually comes with a door slam. I’ve said it a few times when I was overwhelmed, but somehow Jack thinks it’s a valid excuse to retreat into his comic book haven. -
You’re wearing THAT again?
Jack’s daily outfit consists of a T-shirt and sweatpants, and I used to try to coax him into changing it up. But now he points out that I wear the same grey pants and white tee almost daily. Touché, kiddo! -
Could you throw the ball at me, not over the fence?
Whenever I miss a throw, Jack loves to remind me of my past frustrations. It’s funny how he learned this from me back when his throwing skills were still a work in progress. -
Somebody needs to see their hairdresser.
I might casually mention to Jack that he needs a haircut, and he’ll promptly respond with, “Well, you need to see a hairdresser,” while waving around my gray hair. Ouch! -
Seriously?
This one word can convey so much exasperation. “Seriously, you want me to eat spinach pizza? Seriously, a documentary about a girl?! Seriously, do you think I’ll be excited about my project on current affairs?” Okay, maybe I’ve overused that one a tad. But hey, he learns fast!
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In summary, parenting can be a challenging, yet funny journey, especially as tweens start to mirror our own quirks and phrases. It’s a reminder that our words have a lasting impact and that humor—whether sarcastic or not—can be a bonding experience.