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Teaching Our Kids to Appreciate the Everyday
You know those days that feel completely ordinary? Today was one of those days. It’s funny how many days like this fill our lives—days that don’t feature any grand events or achievements. There are no fireworks, no major milestones, just the simple ebb and flow of daily life. Yet, have you ever stopped to think that these seemingly mundane days are what truly make up our lives? The fleeting high points—those moments of triumph and celebration—often vanish before we even get to pop the champagne. It’s the ordinary days that linger, shaping our experiences and memories.
John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” I’d like to add that life is also what unfolds while we’re just living out these unremarkable days.
Everywhere we look—ads, social media, filtered photos—it seems like the extraordinary is always being celebrated. It’s no wonder so many of us feel like we’re falling short, as if we’re just not enough. We tell our kids they can achieve anything, to aim high, and we reassure them that they are kind, smart, and brave. But in our excitement to inspire them to chase after extraordinary dreams, are we neglecting to show them how to find value in the everyday moments? Are we focusing so much on grand gestures that we forget to nurture the small, quiet moments of goodness?
Fortunately, kids are naturally inclined to find joy in the little things. My son, Ethan, beams with pride when someone praises the snacks he picked out at the store, and he’s happiest when he can make his little sister laugh. Children seem to thrive on love, kindness, and the simple act of being a good friend.
Just a week ago, my son, Oliver, shared with me some trouble he was having with a classmate. We talked about how sometimes kids just need a little kindness to feel better. I suggested he try being extra nice to this boy the next day at school, just to see what might change.
When I picked him up, Oliver came running over, bubbling with excitement. “Guess what! I was super nice to him, and he was nice back!” This was a big deal for Oliver—he’s never run to me with news like that before, not after acing a test or scoring a goal. The fact that he was brave and kind meant the world to him, and he couldn’t wait to tell me about it. This little moment was extraordinary in his eyes.
While kids may have dreams of becoming astronauts or actors, I believe what they truly want is to know that the quiet dreams—like being a good friend or loving wholeheartedly—are just as important.
When I was younger, I dreamed of being a mother and creating a happy family. Sure, I had a few grand ambitions like traveling and owning a horse, but the core of my dreams revolved around love, connection, and building lasting relationships. I wanted to enjoy coloring with my kids, reading bedtime stories, and dancing in the kitchen with my husband.
Now, as I live out those dreams, there are days when I feel like I’m not enough. I often hear that nagging voice in my head saying I should be doing more or achieving more. I suspect I’m not alone in this feeling. Many people I know who are wonderful parents, partners, and friends still feel like they’re falling short, as if they haven’t reached their “Big and Bold” aspirations.
So, how do we inspire our children to pursue their dreams while also helping them appreciate the beauty in the ordinary? How can we encourage them to aim high while fostering a sense of contentment with the life they’re living right now?
It starts with us. We need to embrace our own quiet dreams and show pride in them. Let’s celebrate our efforts to love fully, to be brave, and to be kind, regardless of the outcome. It’s about taking time to cherish the small moments, to recognize our worth, and to see the extraordinary in the everyday.
William Martin once wrote a poem that begins with “Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives,” and instead, encourages us to “make the ordinary come alive for them.” This resonates deeply with my parenting philosophy. When I focus on kindness and authenticity, the results often turn out to be extraordinary.
As parents, we all have hopes for our children to achieve greatness. But more than anything, I want them to find joy and satisfaction in the simple moments. I want them to learn the importance of being a good friend and to understand the power of love and connection. I hope that when they lay down at the end of the day, their last thought is: “Today was special. I loved and was loved. Today was extraordinary.”
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Summary:
Teaching our children to appreciate the beauty of everyday moments is just as important as encouraging their ambitious dreams. While we inspire them to chase extraordinary paths, we must also nurture their ability to find joy in kindness, friendship, and the little things that make a life truly fulfilling.