Raising Kids to Be Kind, Not Perfect

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I’m just an imperfect person, married to another perfectly imperfect individual. Together, we’ve created three wonderfully messy kids. From the beginning, my partner, Jake, and I realized we were a bit clueless about parenting. This became glaringly obvious seven years ago in our Intro to Parenting class when the instructor asked, “Raise your hand if you’ve never changed a diaper!” and we were the only two with our hands raised. Our unborn child was doomed, or so we thought, and everyone in that room knew it too.

Knowing our limits, we’ve set a realistic bar for achievement in our household. We encourage our kids to try their best and celebrate their successes, but our priority is teaching them kindness. I want my children to extend their kindness beyond just those who resemble them. That means being kind to everyone—yes, to people of all colors, identities, and backgrounds. This includes everyone, from the neighbor down the street to the funny kid in class. Our family motto is simple: PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. BE KIND TO THEM.

The truth about parenting is that you never really know if you’re doing it right. You just keep going, hoping that at some point, you’ll get a sign that you’ve succeeded or perhaps missed the mark entirely. Recently, I got a sign that we may be on the right path.

Jake and I received a text from our son’s teacher saying that she had chosen him for the “Good Citizenship” award for being incredibly kind and helpful to a classmate named Leo, who has autism. I didn’t even know who Leo was, so I asked for more details. The teacher mentioned how patiently our son has been interacting with him.

At breakfast the next day, I asked our son about Leo, and he exclaimed, “Oh! Leo is my friend! He has a disability, but I know all about disabilities. His disability is that he just can’t stop being funny!” I turned my head to hide my tears because, like any proud mom, I was so moved. Then he added, “His favorite color is rainbow! Isn’t that awesome?!”

Days later, I found myself amidst a crowd of other proud parents at the awards ceremony. Our son sat calmly, unaware that his name would be called. I marveled at how much he had grown; just a year ago, he struggled to sit still.

When I went to his classroom for the end-of-year party, he ran up to me and shouted, “HI, MOM!” He was sitting next to a boy I hadn’t seen before. “Who’s your friend?” I asked.

“Oh! This is Leo!”

“Hi, Leo! I’m Jake’s mom,” I said, and the boy smiled back at me.

The world certainly doesn’t need more unkind people; it needs more kind ones. I hope my kids can grow into those kind individuals. If you want to learn more about the journey of parenthood, check out this excellent resource on artificial insemination, or explore our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit.

In summary, raising kids to be kind rather than perfect is about fostering empathy and understanding in a world that desperately needs it. Celebrating small victories like kindness towards others can lead to meaningful growth in our children.