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Saying Farewell to My 30s
A little while back, a friend mentioned that a famous TV anchor, Mark Turner, just celebrated his 70th birthday. Wait, what? How could that be? A quick search confirmed it—he officially hit the big 7-0 last month. While I’m thrilled for him, it’s yet another reminder that I’m not getting any younger.
Recently, during a chat with a coworker in her early twenties, I found myself passionately advising her, “This is the time to explore new experiences!” and “Trust me, things only get trickier from here, so really soak up these years.” Then there was my trip to the beach, where my lovely 8-year-old daughter looked at me in my swimsuit and said, quite sincerely, “Mom, you’d be so adorable if you were younger.” Ouch.
I’ve also noticed that I’m getting called “ma’am” more often, and I’ve made several references to 80s pop culture, only to be met with blank stares. (“You know, The A-Team was about a group of guys who fought for justice… never mind.”) In just a few months, I’ll be officially saying goodbye to my 30s, and I can’t help but wonder: How did I get here? Am I really turning 40? I certainly don’t feel like it.
Yet, my life screams 40. I’m a decade into marriage, a mom of two, and I’ve got a mortgage. I drive a family wagon, attend PTA meetings, and I find myself wearing glasses at night. Not to mention, I’ve started having mental debates about retirement savings and whether Botox is worth it or just leads to more procedures.
My struggle with turning 40 isn’t about feeling vain or lamenting lost youth. If you’d asked my 20-year-old self what my life would look like at 40, I’d say it’s pretty much spot on. But still, 40 feels like a huge milestone—The Big 4-0—and I’m just not ready for it.
I have a kindergartner now, and while we tackle math homework, we often talk about “adding” and “taking away.” It dawned on me recently: my life has revolved around “adding.” I’ve added a partner, a career, kids, a home, and great friends. These past years have been about building a life.
While I know there will still be chances to add new experiences (I’m still hoping to get a dog someday—hint, hint, partner!), the truth is that the next chapter will involve some loss and letting go. My kids will continue to grow and gain independence. My beloved parents will age, something I’m not ready to face. Friends may drift apart. Bit by bit, pieces of the life I’ve constructed over the last four decades will slip away.
I’ve never been one to attach sentiment to things, and I’m pretty good at decluttering. But as I near 40, it feels like I’m experiencing this unexpected urge to hold on tightly to my loved ones and freeze time, even just for a moment. Yet, I know that’s not possible.
When I seek wisdom, I turn to words—whether it’s poems, books, or songs. One of my favorites is by poet Maya Collins, who reminds us that to truly live, we must love what is fleeting, embrace it, and ultimately, when the time comes, learn to let go.
I know the next 40 years will require me to let go of things—and that’s tough to accept. But for now, I’ll keep loving fiercely, holding my loved ones close, and hopefully, continue to enrich their lives.
In summary, while turning 40 may feel daunting, it also signifies growth, love, and the inevitable changes that come with life. Embracing these transitions allows us to appreciate what we have while preparing for what lies ahead. If you’re navigating similar feelings about starting a family, check out this helpful article on home insemination, or learn more about boosting your fertility with great resources like this one: this one.