Why I Think It’s Time to Rethink Our Birthday Party Gift Trends

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I just picked up my daughter from yet another birthday bash—her millionth of the year, it feels like. She came running towards the car, practically bouncing with excitement, and I couldn’t help but wonder what had her so thrilled this time. Turns out, the host mom gifted each girl a stunning 14-karat gold initial necklace. Yep, you read that right. A fancier gift than the one I sent for the birthday girl and even better than what I gave my own daughter for her own birthday. As I drove away, my hands gripping the wheel, I fantasized about giving that mom a piece of my mind.

Honestly, I’ve never given much thought to birthday gift bags. In fact, I find it quite absurd that I’m expected to give gifts to other kids on my child’s special day. For my son’s last birthday, I grabbed eight candy bars from the Target checkout line—literally 10 minutes before the party—and tossed them in a bowl. Each kid got to pick one on their way out. I was pretty proud of my last-minute genius.

Now, I’m not a fan of cheap trinkets from discount stores, but these other moms really need to chill out. Here’s a rundown of some of the over-the-top favors I’ve seen this year:

• Monogrammed golf balls and a real putter for a party at a mini-golf course.
• A gumball machine packed with gumballs (ironic, given that the dad was a dentist).
• A whole “Rock Star VIP” party complete with monogrammed sunglasses, T-shirts, and a purse filled with makeup. Oh, and a red carpet with the birthday girl’s name embroidered on it, plus paparazzi. Seriously?
• A live fish in a plastic bag, which meant I spent my entire Sunday scrambling to find a proper tank and supplies for its new home—because, of course, the fish deserves party favors too.
• A Pottery Barn tote filled with flip-flops, sunscreen, and a monogrammed towel for a beach bash.
• A $32 giant box of sand art, because why not? (I’m still annoyed with that mom, by the way.)

Let’s be real for a moment: these extravagant favors are more about impressing other parents than about making kids happy. Newsflash: most parents don’t even like each other’s kids that much! It’s like a competition to see who can outdo the others. I can just imagine Mrs. Jones on a tropical getaway, sipping her drink, thinking, “What else can I get these overzealous moms to do?”

So here’s a thought: if you’re that concerned about appearances, why not send the kids home with something for their moms? Picture a stylish purse filled with mini bottles of wine or a subscription to a Wine of the Month club. Or maybe a gift card for a pedicure to make up for dragging my kid to your party? Until then, let’s keep it simple. Your child’s petting zoo party—complete with a beloved giraffe—will be just as memorable, even without extravagant gift bags.

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In summary, let’s rethink the birthday party gift culture that’s spiraled out of control. Simplicity can lead to just as much joy for our kids, and we’d all appreciate a little less competition and a lot more fun.