How My Wife Became a Poop Doula

home insemination Kit

Just like riding a bike, I always thought that pooping was something you mastered once and for all. Little did I know, the journey is far from straightforward, especially when our 4-year-old son hit a few bumps along the way.

One evening, I found myself perched on the toilet, scrolling through social media for a little bit of me-time. I didn’t even need to go, but let’s be honest, sometimes the bathroom is a parent’s best escape, especially when the kids are occupied. It’s my mini spa, a place to gather my thoughts for a precious few minutes. While scrolling, I stumbled upon a funny post from my sister that said something like, “I’ll NEVER get used to cleaning poop out of the tub!” I couldn’t help but respond, “Oh my god. That’s so gross!”

After a few supportive comments from friends and family, I realized I might be tempting fate. So, in a moment of reverse jinxing, I went back to the thread and wrote, “Oh, that sucks. Sorry! We’ve been lucky so far.” I was totally faking it though. That kind of thing doesn’t happen if you’re careful, right? Just then, my wife’s voice called from upstairs, “Jake! Oh no… Jake!”

I was on the couch enjoying some late-night TV with our big boy when I learned that our son had an accident in the tub. Yikes. I know some parents manage to avoid these disasters, but our day had come. I had to extract a turd floating in the water like a piece of debris in a murky pond. I tried to stay calm, reminding myself that I needed to be a role model, even though everything felt forever altered.

But karma had other plans. After a few days without our son making a “poop family” in the potty (as he calls it), we let our guard down. When we encouraged him to try, he firmly resisted. He had developed a fear of pooping. We bribed, we coaxed, and while it worked occasionally, it often ended in tears. Soon, he just refused altogether and suffered from the discomfort of being backed up. We were at our wit’s end.

Then came my genius idea: a nice warm bath would surely do the trick. It did, but not in the way I had hoped. Our 4-year-old, who is built like a 7-year-old, managed to create a scene reminiscent of a messy lunch, with poop floating like a bad burrito aftermath. Amid the splashing and tears, I knew karma had caught up with me.

As a modern dad, I share responsibilities at home, yet there are certain tasks only a mom can handle. When we notice it’s been a couple of days, my wife steps in as the calming force our boy desperately needs. They retreat to the bathroom, where she comforts him through his fears, reassuring him that he’ll be okay. She employs soothing techniques—cold compresses, a gentle voice, dimmed lights, and sometimes even candles. With her unwavering support, he finds the courage to do what he needs to do.

In a twist of fate and driven by pure love, my wife has become our little one’s poop doula.

For more insights into parenting and support during challenging times, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination, and if you’re interested in learning about options like artificial insemination, visit Make A Mom. And for additional related content, you might want to read this blog post.

In summary, parenting is a wild ride full of unexpected moments, and sometimes, it takes a dedicated poop doula to navigate it all with grace and love.