Hey there! So, I’ve got two spirited little girls, just like my own mom did when I was growing up. Luckily, I’m raising them with a super involved partner who loves every minute with our girls. He’s the type to belt out tunes in their music classes, take them to see fire trucks up close, and whip up fun pancake breakfasts on weekends. My dad was an amazing guy, always showing love from afar after my parents split and he had to move overseas for work. Despite his distance, my sister and I relied entirely on our mom for day-to-day life.
I don’t want to downplay the challenges of being a single mom—I’m sure there were plenty of lonely and overwhelming days for her. But looking back, I feel incredibly fortunate for the lessons my mom taught me through her journey:
1. A Badass Female Role Model
My mom juggled her undergraduate and law school classes while raising my sister and I. Every day, we witnessed her dedication to learning and building a stable life for us. She broke stereotypes by handling everything from paying bills to fixing the car and mowing the lawn. It was clear that the choices she made were about who she was, not just because she was a woman.
2. A Clear Authority Figure
Before my partner and I had kids, we often discussed how our childhood experiences shaped us. His parents were always in sync, which is pretty rare! On the other hand, my sister and I only had one primary decision-maker—our mom. This meant we didn’t have the opportunity to pit parents against each other, creating a sense of security with clear boundaries. Mom raised us without the drama of conflicting viewpoints, which made her parenting style straightforward and effective.
3. Expectations of Equal Partnership
Both my sister and I ended up with partners who are true jack-of-all-trades—whether it’s cooking, fixing things around the house, or just being genuinely involved. We didn’t choose them by accident; we learned from our mom that a relationship should be a partnership. While we do face some typical gender-related challenges, we work through them honestly. I’m grateful to be co-parenting with someone I adore, not out of necessity but out of love. My mom showed me that it’s possible to thrive as a solo parent, and that’s a gift I carry into my own parenting journey.
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In summary, growing up with a single mom equipped me with strength and resilience that I carry into my own family life. Her example taught me the importance of independence, clear boundaries, and the value of true partnership.