Last Saturday, while watching my 6-year-old’s softball game from a folding chair, I started to ponder the direction of youth sports. In our city, like many others, the competition is only going to get tougher as she grows older. It’s already begun, really. Last fall, she played in a “non-competitive” soccer league, which made me laugh because she spent most of her time sitting on the bench as the least skilled player. She was five! Even at this tender age, parents are shelling out cash for camps and private lessons. Before long, select leagues will be knocking on our door.
Now, I’m not saying that intense youth sports are inherently bad, but I want no part of it. Seriously, where does all that time and money lead? A tiny fraction of kids end up playing college sports, and even fewer make it to the pros. Genetics has already assured me that my kids won’t be the next athletic superstars.
As I thought more about this, it dawned on me that no matter how much time and effort we invest, we all seem to end up in the same place—the adult beer league. So, why not skip the endless drills and just fast-track to that? I’m talking about a B team for kids, where the focus is simply on playing and having a good time.
Imagine weekends without hotel stays for tournaments, no late-night waits at high school parking lots for the football bus, and zero hours spent on grueling practices. No one yelling at the referees, no elaborate uniforms—just some simple t-shirts and a game to play. Let’s aim for kids who can develop enough skills to join a local volleyball league or impress at a bowling night, all while making friends and learning teamwork. Plus, parents can keep their sanity intact without spending countless hours at practices.
I loved sports growing up, despite my not-so-great athletic abilities. I started playing softball at five, followed by basketball and volleyball. I enjoyed them—until high school rolled around. Practices turned into heart-pounding nightmares, with coaches who seemed like they were on the verge of a meltdown at any moment. I didn’t last long in that environment, preferring casual games with neighborhood friends over grueling workouts.
The only reason I stuck with softball was my coach’s laid-back attitude. He understood the bigger picture: winning wasn’t everything. This perspective didn’t sit well with some teammates and their parents, hence the need for an A team.
If you’re thinking, “But I have cherished memories from my competitive sports days,” that’s perfectly fine. You and your family belong on the A team. What I needed as a kid was a B team, and I know I’m not alone in this sentiment. A report from the Wall Street Journal highlights that youth sports participation is declining because it simply takes too much time. Kids are burning out before they reach middle school.
So, let’s create this B team—a laid-back environment where kids can play sports for fun, with enough organization to keep it interesting but without the pressure of competition. Scorekeeping? Optional. Pep talks after losses? Not necessary. Because, truthfully, it doesn’t matter.
I appreciate competition’s value, but I believe kids will encounter plenty of opportunities to learn those lessons as they grow up. Sometimes, I even let my kids battle over cookies to teach them about competition. However, what truly helped me in my career was understanding and valuing teamwork—not just winning.
This article originally appeared on June 19, 2015.
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In summary, a B team for kids’ sports could offer a fun and relaxed atmosphere where youngsters can learn valuable skills and make friends without the high stakes and pressure associated with traditional sports leagues.