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9 Things I’d Hire Taylor Swift to Fix for Me
You know how when Taylor Swift speaks, everyone listens? Well, it got me thinking—if she ever decides to hang up her microphone, she could totally start a side hustle called “Swift Solutions.” Still working on the name, but imagine her as a professional problem-solver. I’d be first in line for her services!
Here’s a list of the totally frustrating things I’d gladly pay T-Swift to tackle for me:
- Getting my kids to actually put on their shoes in the 90 minutes before school starts. Seriously, 90 minutes! How hard can it be, folks?!
- Explaining to my mom that 9:30 p.m. is the first time in 24 hours I’ve had to myself or with my partner, and that maybe it’s not the best time for a chat. (No offense, Mom, but this one’s about me.)
- Convincing my partner that, just maybe, Tom Brady was aware of those deflated balls so he can stop going on about some grand NFL conspiracy.
- Threatening to put a dome over South Carolina until they finally take down that Confederate flag. Like, come on, it’s time!
- Figuring out how to cut down the ridiculous costs of summer camp—or at least bridging the gap between the no-school summer days for kids and the work-filled summer for parents.
- Stopping the insane growth rate of toddler fingernails and the foot bacteria from my third-grader. Why do they both need attention at the same time?!
- Putting an end to the misery of crummy all-in-one printers and their tiny toner cartridges. Seriously, I feel like this is some kind of conspiracy!
- Advocating for paid paternity leave for dads, and while we’re at it, let’s make sure moms get paid maternity leave too.
- Clearing space on my phone to snap a quick pic of my daughter in that adorable outfit her aunt sent, only to discover there’s no storage left because I’m busy deleting old photos. Didn’t I just back this thing up? And what happened to the Cloud? My daughter is melting down, ice cream everywhere, and I guess a handwritten thank-you note will have to do.
That’s my list! And honestly, if Taylor has a little extra energy left over, she should consider running for president. She’s got my vote!
Oh, and if you’re into the idea of home insemination, check out more about it at this link. Also, this site provides some great resources, and if you’re exploring fertility options, the NHS has a fantastic overview at this page!