How Dining Out with My 7-Year-Old Resembles Dating in My 20s

home insemination Kit

Going out to eat with my 7-year-old is oddly reminiscent of my dating escapades in my 20s. Here’s how:

1. He guzzles his drinks. Sure, his lemonade and chocolate milk lack alcohol, but they’re super sugary and seem to have the same effect! First, he’s all chatty, and then he crashes hard.

2. He picks up his drinks like a pro. Much like those twentysomethings who’ve mastered the art of avoiding messes, he grabs his glass with his wrists after getting his fingers all gooey from ribs or wing sauce. Who needs a napkin, right?

3. His food choices are a carb lover’s dream. One entree? Not nearly enough. He orders mac and cheese, fries, and a mountain of bread. “Can we get more rolls, please?” is his favorite request.

4. He never bothers to ask me anything about my day.

5. He uses his silverware to create a drum solo on the table, keeping the rhythm to whatever tune is playing in the background.

6. He’s a sports commentator in the making. No matter the sport—basketball, football, or even kickball—he talks non-stop, passionately rattling off statistics that fly right over my head.

7. Dessert is his kingdom! Healthy eating? Not on his watch. That peanut butter pie? It’s all his!

But unlike those dates that ended with a goodbye, I tuck my little guy into bed afterward, covering him with his favorite truck quilt and reading stories about a cat who thinks he’s a Chihuahua. It’s a sweet ending to our dinner adventures.

If you’re curious about home insemination or looking to explore more on the topic, check out this post on intracervical insemination. Plus, if you want a deep dive into the world of at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers great resources. And for those interested in the IVF journey, this article on what the IVF process is really like is a must-read!

In summary, dining out with my child is an entertaining mix of chaos and joy, much like the dating days of my youth, but with far more cuddles and bedtime stories.