13 Lessons About Money I Want My Kids to Understand Beyond Just Dollars and Cents

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Last weekend, I took my kids to visit my mom’s hometown in the heart of the Mississippi Delta. They were fascinated by the stories of her childhood, like how she danced on the icebox in her parents’ grocery store. They even got to see the small cemetery where our ancestors rest. But what really hit them was the stark poverty they witnessed: dilapidated houses, rows of shuttered shops, and rundown cars, all a far cry from their lives in New York City. Naturally, they started asking questions: Where are the schools? What jobs do people have if there are no businesses? Do they even have Minecraft here?

For my partner and me, this experience prompted a deep reflection on what we’re teaching our kids about money—not just the basics like saving or budgeting, but the broader meaning of money in life. How should they view it? What role should it play in their lives? Here are some insights we’ve come up with:

1. If choosing between a $15 item and a $25 item doesn’t stress you out, be thankful.
2. Remember, people create wealth; wealth doesn’t define people.
3. Money influences behavior, but it’s just one of many factors.
4. No one wants to be judged by their bank balance, so don’t do it to others.
5. Money is relative. What’s a small amount to you could be significant to someone else. So, when you’re feeling “broke” while having food and shoes, maybe keep that to yourself.
6. If you’re ordering drinks, be ready to pay your share. Don’t assume everyone else should chip in evenly. If a friend always orders more than you, consider suggesting a more budget-friendly place next time.
7. Don’t expect the wealthiest friend to pick up the tab. If they offer, that’s nice, but don’t rely on it. No one wants to feel like they’re only valued for their money.
8. If you can’t afford something, just don’t go. Sure, feel bad for a moment, but then move on. You have friends, a job, and two working legs—life goes on!
9. Never apologize for your financial situation, whether you’re doing great or struggling.
10. There will always be people with more and less than you. What matters is if you have what you need.
11. Cash is the simplest form of payment. A wise friend once told me that. It’s straightforward and avoids complicated emotional dynamics with others.
12. Very few things in life are truly “free.” If a friend helps you out without charge, it can create awkwardness. Are you building up an emotional debt? Think about it.
13. If you ever find yourself financially comfortable, that’s fantastic! But don’t forget your roots. Remember the hustle and challenges you faced, and let that inform your perspective on money.

And yes, that might even mean letting go of things like Minecraft for a bit.

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In summary, it’s essential to instill in our kids a balanced view of money that emphasizes gratitude, understanding, and responsibility. They should know what money means in the broader context of life, relationships, and personal values.