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Celebrating Love and Remembering My Dad
I couldn’t help but jump for joy when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality. That Friday morning, my kids were with me, and they quickly wanted to know what all the excitement was about. I tried to explain the importance of the decision and why it mattered so much. They know and care about some of our LGBTQ+ friends, so it was a bit bewildering for them to grasp why a Supreme Court ruling was necessary for equal rights. Still, they accepted my joy, even if they didn’t fully understand it.
But there was a piece of the story I held back from them.
My dad, their grandfather, was gay. He was a well-known lawyer who argued before the Supreme Court himself but passed away from AIDS when I was only 8—one of the first cases in Florida. At the time, nobody talked about it, so I had no idea why there was so much secrecy surrounding his death or why my classmates suddenly turned away from me. It was the early ’80s, and misinformation about AIDS was rampant; people feared it was contagious through casual contact.
I ended up switching schools and eventually moving away from Florida, but I always felt like there was a missing piece in my life. I kept asking questions until one day, I finally put it together and confronted my mom. She reluctantly confirmed my suspicions. Over time, I learned bits and pieces of his story from her and a close family friend. It turned out my dad had relationships with men, and sadly, many of them had also passed away from the disease.
What I remember most about my dad are the little things: his love for well-pressed jeans and colorful Izod shirts, his obsession with classic cars, and the homemade cookies he baked. He even took me for a ride in the Goodyear blimp when I was six. But soon after, he got sick, and my life changed drastically. I still vividly recall the night he collapsed; it was the last time I saw him alive.
The memorial service is another moment etched in my memory—my first time wearing pantyhose, singing songs like “Morning Has Broken” and “Amazing Grace.” After he passed, I adapted as kids do, but I didn’t speak about him much. It was painful for my mom, who was struggling to raise my baby sister and me alone.
It wasn’t until college, when I watched the movie Philadelphia, that I truly revisited his story. The film mirrored his life so closely, and it left me in tears long after the credits rolled.
These days, I’ve shared my dad’s story with more people. As society has become more accepting of LGBTQ+ individuals, it feels less complicated to talk about. Yet, I still hesitate to tell my kids the whole truth about their grandfather. We will watch Philadelphia together someday, and I’ll share what I know: how much he loved books, gadgets, and Star Wars, and how proud he would have been of them.
Later that day when the marriage equality decision came through, after the kids had gone to bed and I had reached out to my LGBTQ+ friends to express my love, I posted a picture of my dad and me on social media with #LoveWins. That’s when the tears came. I cried for the world my dad deserved, one where he wouldn’t have to hide who he was. I cried because I never really got to know him, and I wished he could see how far we’ve come. Love truly does win, even if it doesn’t always happen in time.
In the grand scheme of things, we’ve made significant progress, and I’m hopeful for a future where love knows no bounds. For more insights on topics like these, be sure to check out this resource and this one—both are excellent resources. You can also visit WebMD for further information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, the Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage equality resonated deeply with me, especially as I reflect on my father’s life and struggles. It’s a reminder of how far we’ve come and how important it is to celebrate love in all its forms.