Marriage Tips for Parents: A Reality Check

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You know those glossy magazines at the grocery store that promise to help you spice up your marriage? They usually go on about how to reignite the spark in the bedroom, keep your partner interested, or banish boredom. But honestly, when I read these articles, all I can think is, “These writers clearly don’t have kids.”

Let’s break down a few of these so-called “sexy” tips, shall we?

1. Leave Flirty Notes: Sure, leaving cute notes around sounds fun—unless you have kids who can read. “I love it when you…” gets awkward fast. “I love it when you change the baby’s diaper” isn’t quite what they meant, right?
2. Lingerie While Cooking: Imagine whipping up dinner in your best lace while your kids are around. Yeah, that’s a one-way ticket to therapy for them! Even if I tried to pull it off after bedtime, I’d need a blanket on standby for a quick cover-up.
3. Role Playing: One suggestion was to hit a bar and pretend to be strangers. Oh please, I mentioned it to my husband once, and he couldn’t stop laughing. We all know he’d just end up playing pool while I waited, right?
4. Setting the Mood: Candles, rose petals, and music? Great idea, until you realize you’re just asking for a fire hazard. By the time I get everything ready, he’ll be snoozing on the couch. And rose petals? Forget it—cleaning up after is like finding glitter months later.
5. Bathing Together: What size tub are these tips authors using? In my tub, two people means a game of human Tetris, not romance.
6. Showering Together: Okay, we could fit in the shower. But really, what’s sexy about freezing under the water while waiting for your turn? Yeah, not so much.
7. Acting Out Scenes: The last movie we watched was a kids’ flick. “Release the baby!” doesn’t exactly scream romance.

Let’s face it, these tips are more suited for couples without kids or for those rare moments when the kids are away. For parents like us, it’s probably best to wait until the kids have grown up and moved out—unless we have grandkids visiting by then!

If you found this relatable, check out our other blog posts for more down-to-earth advice and stories about parenting and marriage. You can also visit Make a Mom for expert insights on home insemination. And if you’re looking for solid information on pregnancy, News Medical is an excellent resource.

In summary, while those magazine tips sound fun, they often miss the mark for parents juggling family life. It’s all about finding what works for you, even if it means skipping the rose petals and opting for a quiet night on the couch instead.