Getting Ready for College: The Important Conversation to Have With Your Child

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As summer rolls in and high school graduation approaches, it’s time to think about preparing your teen for college. This is a moment filled with excitement, but it also requires some serious discussions about what lies ahead. In the coming months, we’ll tackle dorm shopping—what to buy and where to score the best deals—and logistics for moving your kid to college, drawing on insights from experienced parents.

I had this idealized vision of the summer before my son headed off to college. In my mind, I treated him like the adult he was becoming, relishing our last weeks together as a family. I imagined him eagerly participating in dorm shopping and engaging in deep, meaningful conversations with us, free from the stress of college applications. I even envisioned him handling the mountain of paperwork without a hint of complaint.

Unfortunately, reality painted a different picture. My son was more interested in hanging out with friends than spending quality time with us. While he wanted to be treated like an adult, he sometimes acted like anything but. As deadlines loomed, I found myself nagging him about forms and appointments, which led to typical teenage pushback. The bittersweet anticipation of his departure stirred up some less-than-pleasant behaviors in both of us. He was nervous about leaving, and my sadness often manifested as frustration.

Eventually, we managed to pull it together and prepare him for this new chapter. The process—talking, explaining, shopping, and prepping his not-so-glamorous dorm room—helped us both emotionally and logistically. I want my kids to recognize the incredible opportunity they have; in the grand scheme of things, very few people get the chance to pause their lives for education and personal growth. College is a gift, and they should appreciate it.

This summer, I knew we needed to discuss the bigger life lessons we always wanted to share. I wanted to talk about why I chose their dad as a partner, the lessons learned from marriage (the good and the bad), and the kind of spouse and parent I hope they become. We should also touch on what it means to be a sibling in adulthood and the joys and challenges that can arise from living apart from family. It’s crucial to explain how much joy and heartache parenthood brings; these conversations might be bittersweet, but they’re necessary.

While college can be an amazing experience, it’s not without its challenges. Freshmen often face the paradox of alcohol being both a norm and a legal issue. It’s vital for our kids to understand that their judgment—often clouded by substances—can be the difference between a fun night and a major mistake. Sharing our own experiences, even the uncomfortable ones, can provide valuable insights.

We also need to address mental health and safety. Colleges invest significant resources into educating students about sexual misconduct, but parents must also have these conversations. Anxiety and stress are on the rise in college settings. Our kids should know how to seek help and support others in need. It’s essential to instill the importance of being there for friends and understanding the significance of community.

Let’s be real: it’s easy to send our kids off to college with vague platitudes like “Make friends” or “Stay out of trouble,” but there’s so much more wisdom to share. Research shows that thriving in college often correlates with specific habits: attending smaller classes, living on campus, joining study groups, and engaging in extracurricular activities. A recent graduate even mentioned that your seating choice in lecture halls could impact grades—sitting closer to the front often yields better results!

Feedback from students suggests that establishing a “constant” in their lives—whether it’s a hobby, a favorite book series, or a weekly coffee ritual—can provide comfort amidst the chaos of college life. They encourage incoming freshmen to jump into social situations early since everyone is eager to connect at the start of the semester. Asking for academic help should be normalized because many students find themselves needing support for the first time. And let’s not forget about healthy habits—no one will be there to remind them to eat right or exercise.

By the end of summer, my son was prepared to embark on his college journey. We had shared countless conversations, and I felt a mix of pride and sadness as I moved him into his dorm. I told myself this was the right moment for him, that I had equipped him well. But as I hugged him goodbye and drove home, the tears flowed freely.

In summary, preparing your child for college involves more than just shopping for dorm essentials. It’s a chance to have essential conversations about life, relationships, and responsibility, helping them navigate the complexities they’ll face in this new chapter.

For more tips on preparing for parenthood and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on planning for pregnancy.