8 Pieces of Marriage Advice I Wish I Had Paid Attention To Before Saying “I Do”

home insemination Kit

You know what they say about hindsight, right? Even though my marriage ended, I wouldn’t change my decision to marry for anything. The journey shaped who I am today, and my kids are my greatest joy. However, if I were to do it all over again, I’d definitely take these important bits of advice to heart before walking down the aisle.

1. Marry When You Truly Want To
   Forget societal pressure or what everyone else is doing. There’s no magic age or timeline for marriage. I’ve seen couples who’ve been together since high school thrive, while others find their match later in life. Sure, those endless rounds of bridal showers and bachelorette parties can be tempting, but the most crucial thing is to wait until you’re absolutely certain it’s the right moment for you. After all, the wedding is just the beginning; the marriage is where the real adventure lies.
2. Passion Doesn’t Equal Lasting Love
   We’ve all felt that exhilarating “honeymoon” phase where everything seems perfect. But remember, you need a partner who will support you during the tough times too—like when you’re sick or juggling a newborn. Real love goes beyond those butterflies; it’s about finding someone who’s still attractive to you amidst the everyday chaos of life.
3. Love Who They Are, Not Who You Want Them to Be
   People generally don’t change their core selves, so it’s crucial to fall for who they are now, not who you think they might become. If you find yourself hoping they’ll change, that could lead to disappointment down the line. Embrace them as they are for a healthier relationship.
4. Have the Money Talk
   It might seem boring, but discussing finances is essential. Understand each other’s spending habits, credit scores, and how you plan to manage your finances together. Trust me, navigating money issues without a plan can spell disaster later on.
5. If You Have Doubts, Speak Up
   This one’s huge. If you start feeling uncertain, it’s crucial to voice those concerns, even if you’re deep into wedding planning. It’s far better to address doubts early on than to go through with something you’re not sure about. Trust yourself—honesty is key.
6. Align on Religion and Celebrations
   Discuss your beliefs and how you’ll celebrate holidays together. I learned the hard way that mismatched expectations on celebrations can lead to frustrations. Successful couples find a compromise that honors both partners’ traditions—how do you want to celebrate special occasions?
7. Trust Your Instincts
   Never ignore your gut feelings. If you notice red flags—like controlling behavior or aggression—don’t brush them aside. These signs can worsen over time, so it’s important to take action if something feels off.
8. Be with Someone Who Helps You Shine
   If you feel like you’re always the one compromising or sacrificing your dreams, it’s time to reassess your relationship. Your partner should uplift you and encourage you to pursue your passions. A supportive relationship brings out the best in both of you.

So, whether you’re considering marriage or just reflecting on past experiences, keep these insights in mind. And if you’re curious about starting a family, you might want to check out some helpful resources about pregnancy and home insemination, like those available at NICHD.

In summary, being mindful of these pieces of advice can make a significant difference in your marital journey. Love is a partnership, and understanding each other deeply lays a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.