Dear Sweetheart,

home insemination Kit

Today was one of those days where I just didn’t nail the whole mom thing. The morning came way too early after a sleepless night, and I stumbled out of bed, slipping into my pants just an hour before you usually wake up. When I walked into your room, there you were, ready to face the day with your messy hair and that adorable crooked smile. “I up!” you exclaimed, reaching for me. “I pay wif toys!”

I didn’t smile back, not because I don’t adore you, but because I was desperate for more sleep. It was one of those days where you decided to stick stickers all over the couch, and I muttered under my breath. You tried to play tag, and when you accidentally kicked me in the chest, I found myself yelling, “BE NICE TO MOM!” But honestly, I wasn’t mad at you; I was just letting the frustrations of the world spill out. You couldn’t possibly know that, and for that, I’m really sorry.

When I went upstairs for a moment to use the bathroom, you shouted, “NO MAM GO PODDY!” and in a moment of weakness, I snapped back with a “Shut up!” Not my proudest parenting moment, for sure.

I also apologize for crying when you finished off my lunch—the one I had bought for both of us because I was feeling a bit down. I needed those chicken nuggets, but apparently, you did too. And when you made your plate dance on the table, I put you in time out, which I regret. I should have just kissed you goodnight instead of choosing to escape to the guest room for a moment of silence.

I remember my own mom having days like this, where she seemed so overwhelmed, and we kids walked on eggshells, convinced we were the cause. I want you to know that it’s never you. It’s my heart feeling heavy from things outside of you. I promise to do better tomorrow, after a Diet Coke, a crime show, and some well-deserved sleep. Being a parent means sacrificing my selfish desires, which makes me a better person, but man, it’s tough when I’m tired and ache all over.

You don’t need to understand this now, but one day, when you do, I hope it clicks. I apologize so you know I’m genuinely trying, even when my best feels a bit chaotic.

I hear you waking up from your nap, singing Taylor Swift and shouting “Neber, eber, EBER!” mixed with something about a rubber ducky. Time to go get you! We’ll munch on fruit snacks, read some books, and maybe even stick the stickers back on the couch.

Tomorrow is a new chance to try again.

Love always,
Your Mom

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Summary

Motherhood is full of ups and downs, and it’s okay to have tough days. It’s important to remember that it’s not the child’s fault when things go awry, and every day brings a new opportunity to improve. The journey is challenging, but trying your best is what truly matters.