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10 Reasons I Envy My Friends With Smaller Breasts
It’s a common sight to hear women lament about their small, natural breasts—feeling less sexy or feminine, wishing they could rock certain styles better. But as someone who belongs to the “Big Boob Brigade,” I can assure you that having large breasts isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Since my early 20s, I’ve secretly wished for a reduction because I find them cumbersome. Here are ten reasons why I’m envious of my friends who are more modestly endowed.
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They Experience True Eye Contact
When I was younger, it felt like men were more interested in my chest than in me. Conversations turned into a struggle to get them to look me in the eyes. It took a lot longer to prove there was more to me than just my bust, especially when many guys seemed to forget I had other features! -
Owning Just One Bra is a Reality
I had this friend in high school, Lily, who owned only one bra and wore it exclusively with white shirts. Since we both dressed in black, that poor bra hardly got any action! Meanwhile, my bras are so worn out it’s almost laughable—mostly because of my next point. -
Affordable Bras? Yes, Please!
In high school, I could barely squeeze into a C cup, and while I had to hunt a bit, I could still find options. Now that I’m a G cup, my shopping has gone online—where a single bra can cost more than a fancy dinner. When your bra budget rivals your mortgage, skipping bras starts to seem like a practical choice! -
Cute Underwear is Within Reach
My husband once wandered into a Victoria’s Secret looking for some lacy goodies for me. He came back empty-handed and shocked, saying he couldn’t find anything in my size. Sorry honey, but it seems big girls and lace don’t mix! -
They Define ‘Perky’
For those with smaller breasts, the word “perky” lives on! Once you cross a certain size, gravity becomes your worst enemy. Unless you’ve splurged on enhancements, staying perky is a lost cause—nature just doesn’t want to cooperate. -
Comfortable Nursing
Breastfeeding with large breasts is a juggling act. I felt like I needed three hands to manage everything. Public nursing? Forget it! Imagine the stares I’d get when my already oversized breasts were further swollen and exposed—definitely not a charming scene. -
No More Boob Sweat
When summer hits, I can literally wring out my bra! Those with smaller breasts don’t know the horror of underboob sweat or the rash that follows. The relief requires contortions that even the yogis would struggle to master. -
Lovely Necklines
For us blessed with large bosoms, necklines are limited to styles that resemble grandma’s wardrobe. Anything else can lead to some rather unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions. I mean, seriously, how many Smart Cars can my cleavage hold? -
Easily Hold Breastfed Babies
With the ample bosoms, we become the buffet for hungry babies. Handing a breastfed child to us is like dangling steak in front of a starving dog. The little ones dive in, and suddenly, you’re wrestling with tiny hands in a very precarious situation. -
Rolling Over in Bed Without Drama
Rolling over in bed can lead to some unintended consequences, like smacking myself with my own breast or feeling like I’ve been elbowed in the chest. It’s not a fun wake-up call when your partner unintentionally crushes a sensitive area!
Regardless of your breast size, it’s easy to see why small might be the way to go. Honestly, if your breasts are bigger than apples, you should get a free reduction covered by insurance or at least a lifetime supply of comfy bras!
If you want to dive deeper into related topics, check out our other blog posts, like this one about intracervical insemination or learn more from Make a Mom on their at-home insemination kit. You might also find valuable insights at NHS regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
This lighthearted piece explores the reasons why the author feels envious of her friends with smaller breasts. From the ease of finding affordable bras to the ability to wear cute lingerie, the struggles of having larger breasts are humorously highlighted, along with the everyday challenges faced.