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Reflections of a Former Know-It-All Mom
Updated: Jan. 14, 2016 | Originally Published: July 12, 2015
Are you one of those moms who thinks you have all the answers? Are you quick to judge the parenting choices of others? If so, welcome! You’ve just stepped into the first day of your journey towards a more understanding and compassionate approach to parenting.
I used to be in your shoes. In my early days of motherhood, I was convinced I had it all figured out. I’d dispense my parenting wisdom like candy on Halloween, only to realize that unlike trick-or-treating, nobody was asking for my unsolicited advice. That’s the essence of being a Sanctimommy: offering advice no one wanted. If you want to evolve into a more relatable friend and parent, the first step is to keep your thoughts to yourself unless someone specifically asks for your input.
I know, I know—easier said than done.
You might think you’re being supportive by sharing your “expertise,” but let’s be real: parenting isn’t rocket science. There’s no one-size-fits-all method that applies to every child. Just stop right there. Seriously.
Do I really need to remind you that every child is unique? Yes? Alright, here goes: every child is like a snowflake—different and special in their own way. What works for your child may not work for mine. Your approach might be effective, but it doesn’t mean it’s the only way. When you finally grasp this concept, that’s when you’ll shed the Sanctimommy persona and embrace the reality of being just a regular, imperfect mom, like the rest of us.
For me, the birth of my second child was the turning point. He’s completely different from my first, and it hit me then that there isn’t a universal parenting manual. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my opinions on parenting, and I won’t pretend it’s always easy to keep them to myself. But when I feel the urge to share my thoughts online, I simply take a step back.
Trust me, you should do the same. Keep your hands off the keyboard. Live your perfect life with your perfect family, and maybe jot down your parenting tips for a memoir or a how-to book. It could be a great gift for your future daughter-in-law at her baby shower—you know she’d love that, right? Or maybe not.
Do you see my point now? Has it resonated?
Originally published on July 12, 2015, this piece aims to remind us all that we’re in this together, learning as we go.
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In summary, let’s aim to be less judgmental and more understanding, recognizing that every parent and child is different.