You Know You’re Raising a ‘Wild One’ When…

home insemination Kit

Let’s be real: my kids have a knack for chaos—especially the boys. I can’t help but think it’s their dad’s influence. I mean, I never set anything on fire as a kid. Just saying.

So, how can you tell if you’ve got your own little wildling? Here are some telltale signs:

1. When you need to find your child, you instinctively look up. Tables, countertops, shelves, even the top of the fridge—ground level is for less adventurous kiddos.
2. Your child is the master of childproof locks. You might wrestle with it for ages, but your little genius can pop it open in under three seconds.
3. You’ve sprinted barefoot down the street after a barely dressed toddler, nursing another baby in your arms. In winter. Yeah, that’s a thing.
4. When you hear “Mom, look!” your stomach drops. That twitch in your eye? It’s probably not going away until they’re all grown up.
5. The phrase, “Mom … you better come see this …” makes you groan. You’d rather hide and hope they ask Dad instead.
6. You hear your partner shout, “WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD DID YOU DO?!” and you suddenly become very interested in your nap.
7. You’ve walked outside to find your child on the porch, serenading the neighbors—completely naked.
8. The staff at the emergency room know your kid by name, and you can predict who will be on duty. Spoiler: you’re right most of the time.
9. Silence? That’s not golden. It’s downright terrifying.
10. The doctor’s office recognizes your voice and sends you straight to the wound treatment room, even if you’re just there for a sniffle.
11. “Yes, it’s a bungee cord, but no, it won’t save you if you jump off the roof.”
12. You’ve googled how to remove dried toothpaste from the wall or baby oil from the carpet. And Sharpie from the ceiling? Yup.
13. You’ve seriously thought about using a backpack leash on your child—even indoors.
14. When your partner takes the kids to the park, they announce, “Mom’s with us today, so let’s take it easy, okay?”
15. While contemplating new flooring, you find yourself pricing gym mats.

Being the parent of a “wild child” is no walk in the park. But hey, at least you’re never bored!

For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this other blog post here. And if you’re looking to boost your fertility, consider resources from Make a Mom. For comprehensive information on assisted reproductive technology, the CDC offers great resources.

In summary, if you’re nodding along to these signs, you’re likely raising a wild child. Embrace the chaos and remember—you’re not alone on this adventure!