When the first Harry Potter book hit the shelves, I was living in Maine, adjusting to my new life as a mother. My husband often traveled for work, leaving me to navigate this parenting journey on my own. Coming from the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles, where my days were filled with business attire and office meetings, I now found myself in a small town of 5,000, living on three acres with a pond and two little ones.
I embraced our new lifestyle, but I often felt uncertain about how to fill our days. I tried to emulate other moms, taking my kids to the beach, the pool, and the park in a big red wagon. We built forts, baked cookies, donned fairy wings and firefighter hats, and rolled Play-Doh between our fingers. Yet, the moments when I felt most confident as a mother were those evenings when my kids climbed into bed with me, and I read to them.
A friend introduced me to Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and that book became our first shared adventure. Unlike classics like Winnie-the-Pooh and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, this story was uncharted territory for me—I had no idea what twists awaited us since J.K. Rowling was still crafting the tale.
My children grew up alongside the release of each new Harry Potter book. They were the ones who wore Hogwarts robes to Halloween and stood in long lines for midnight releases at the bookstore. Our connection to Harry and his friends spanned years, from reading the books to watching the films and listening to Jim Dale’s captivating narration. It’s possible that my husband’s lukewarm enthusiasm for the series stemmed from our home being filled with Jim’s voice as my daughter Carson carried her CD player around.
So when my husband unexpectedly left for a business trip, a unique opportunity arose. All summer long, we had been talking about things to do “before Carson leaves.” We had plans for a Segway tour and trying new restaurants, but none of those happened. However, when my son Daniel suggested, “Before Carson leaves, we should binge-watch all the Harry Potter movies,” it felt essential that we do it.
Finding time to watch eight films, totaling roughly 20 hours, was no easy task. Carson was busy with packing and going-away parties, while Daniel juggled a summer job and a new girlfriend. But as the season changed and the air grew thick with humidity, both kids made it home to huddle with me in our cool basement, the glow of the TV illuminating our faces.
Over five nights, we immersed ourselves in the films, reliving old conversations and sparking new ones as their perspectives matured. We discussed themes of good versus evil, the complexities of friendship and love, and the importance of standing up against injustice. We cheered, we cried, and I couldn’t help but reflect on my children’s own journeys—friendships, crushes, challenges with bullies, and their transformations from innocent ducklings to graceful swans. Rowling often refers to “old magic,” and in that moment, I felt the profound power of a mother’s love.
My friend had once remarked that the central theme of Harry Potter seemed unfair to mothers, highlighting that a mother’s love should be enough to save you. “But what if it isn’t?” she’d asked. Back then, with young kids, the future felt daunting and unpredictable, filled with fears of not measuring up as a mother.
As I cuddled with my children during those five nights of movie-watching, I felt a bittersweet mix of sadness and relief. The mother I aspired to be had transformed into the mother I am now. Earlier that year, after a yoga class, I was hit by waves of emotion, sobbing unexpectedly. It brought forth memories of 17 years of motherhood, and I recognized the beauty of my journey.
I wasn’t crying over the end of Carson’s childhood; I wouldn’t trade her for the little girl she once was. Instead, I wept for the end of my worrying and fretting about what the future held. Our family’s story is one of success and love, and while I feel grateful, there’s also a tinge of melancholy, as the anticipation of what’s to come is now behind us. I remember the thrill of reading Harry Potter together, flipping the pages quickly, eager for the next adventure. Hurry, hurry, hurry, I thought, just like when we first dived into those magical tales.
This article first appeared on July 13, 2015.