5 Strategies to Enjoy My Beach Getaway Post-‘Shark Week’

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Every July, my kids eagerly tune into the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week” and, in a classic power move, they hide the remotes. Yes, remotes—because apparently, modern TVs require multiple gadgets to function. Their obsession with Megalodon means my husband and I are stuck watching along, even if we’d prefer to stream something more adult-friendly on Netflix during those warm summer nights.

You might wonder why we don’t just retreat to another room with our own devices. The answer? Our little ones insist on making it a family viewing experience. They think it’s fun to bond over the terrifying tales of ferocious sharks, delivered in indecipherable Australian accents by actors pretending to be marine biologists.

Meanwhile, my husband and I are still grappling with the lingering effects of our own childhood fears, thanks to the classic movie *Jaws*. Whether we first saw it in theaters in the ‘70s or on HBO during the ‘80s, it left a mark. Do you remember the media frenzy that had people afraid to swim anywhere? Yeah, it took us a solid four decades to feel comfortable in the water again.

Now, our kids are pushing us back into the ocean—and it’s more than just a gentle toe dip. “Shark Week” demands full immersion for an entire week. Thankfully, it ended just in time for our long-awaited beach vacation. As we prepare for our first family getaway in three years, I know I need a game plan to cope with my resurfaced fears.

Here’s my survival guide, inspired by *Jaws*:

1. Channel My Inner Mayor of Amity Island: Denial is key! Nobody wants to ruin vacation vibes, especially when we’re splurging on a trip 250 miles from home. I’ll embrace my role as Mayor Vaughn and encourage everyone to join me in the water, all while pretending everything’s just peachy!
2. Embrace a Scientific Mindset Like Hooper: Denial is easy when you’re only ankle-deep. As the waves rise, though, the mind starts racing. I’ll channel my inner Hooper by pretending to be curious about everything brushing against my legs—if only for a few seconds before I bolt back to the shore.
3. Indulge Like Quint: Sometimes the best coping mechanism is a drink. A few glasses of wine might just be what I need to loosen up. Who knows, maybe after a few, I’ll feel adventurous enough to sing “Show Me the Way to Go Home” while taking a midnight dip.
4. Stay Afloat: I’ll stick to floatation devices, even if they’re as questionable as the Orca. If I can keep my limbs safely above water, what’s there to be afraid of? Jet skis and sunset cruises sound like the perfect way to avoid the jaws of doom.
5. Channel Chief Brody: Sure, Brody was terrified, but he still faced his fears head-on. If my anxiety spikes and I can’t shake off images of Discovery’s latest shark specials, I’ll prepare myself for anything—harpoon, scuba tank, and all.

With our beach trip just around the corner, I’m reminded of recent reports about Great Whites spotted near Chatham. Thanks, kids. Looks like we’ll need to grab a bigger boat for this adventure!

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Summary

As we gear up for our beach getaway after the annual “Shark Week,” I’ve devised a lighthearted survival guide inspired by *Jaws*. With strategies like denial, scientific curiosity, and a dash of liquid courage, I aim to enjoy the waves with my family, despite the lurking fear of sharks.