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“Mama” Is Just One Word Among Many
There’s a recurring theme that pops up in every parenting group I stumble into online—whether it’s a Facebook page, a message board, or an email chat. It’s not the endless debates over diaper brands or those frantic messages from parents worried about their kid’s sniffles (FYI: it’s totally normal, so keep the tissues handy). No, it’s the fact that every single post starts with that same four-letter word: Mama.
Hey Mamas! Hi Mamas! New Mama here! Mamas, I need advice! Mamas, please stop sharing those vaccine articles! Mamas, my baby just said Mama! Mamas, seriously, enough already. Mammmmmmmma, oooooooh. I didn’t mean to make you cry, but if I’m not back by tomorrow, just carry on as if nothing really matters.
It’s not that I dislike the word itself. It was sweet and charming when a bearded stranger whispered it at my first concert. I teared up when my kids uttered it for the first time, their little voices stumbling like someone leaving a bar. Initially, I didn’t mind being called “Mama” by other moms either. I cherish being a mother and appreciate the mom community I’ve found online and off. But over time, the term “Mama” has morphed into something overwhelming.
Sure, it’s a convenient way to address a group of women sharing the ups and downs of mothering. I’ve thrown around my fair share of “Mamas” too. But the constant mama-ing online only amplifies what happens in real life. I’m called “Mama” everywhere—by the doctor checking on my sick kid, by the cashier at the store, and even by my Zumba instructor shouting, “All the mamas in the room!”
This relentless labeling can feel condescending, lumping us all into one category and overlooking the diverse identities we hold. I’m a mother, yes, but I’m also a wife, daughter, friend, writer, and an aspiring yogi. I’m a college graduate. I’m a feminist. I’m a reader, an anxious soul, and let’s not forget my obsession with that character from Outlander. I’m a fan of Phish and a guilty pleasure Twilight reader. I quit drinking coffee, but, well, I might still indulge occasionally. And I still can’t figure out that Diva Cup no matter how many times I try.
I am a mother, but the moment I entered this parenting journey, society decided that being a mom is “The Most Significant Aspect” of my identity, ignoring all the other facets that make me whole. Who cares if I’m also running a business, studying for a degree, or wearing pants that aren’t pajamas—if I’m not perfectly “Mama-ing” my kids in line with Pinterest ideals, then who am I? We, as mothers, deserve the space to continue growing and exploring every part of ourselves. Yes, celebrate our motherhood, but let’s acknowledge the rest of who we are too.
Whenever my husband and I go out without our kids, someone will ask who’s watching them, as if their well-being rests solely on my shoulders. My husband, a fantastic dad, is never referred to as “Papa” in these situations or reduced to just being the father of our children. I want my many layers to be recognized and celebrated. I want to be seen as more than just “Mama,” because I am so much more than that. And I know you are too.
Only my kids can call me “Mama.” The rest of the world needs to find another term. And no, “Mommy” doesn’t count.
If you want to dive deeper into topics like this, check out this post on home insemination. For expert information, you can visit Make a Mom, a trusted resource on home insemination. And if you’re looking into different fertility treatments, WebMD has some great insights.
In summary, while being a mother is an essential part of my identity, it’s not the only thing that defines me. I want to embrace all aspects of who I am and encourage others to do the same. Let’s celebrate motherhood while also recognizing the multifaceted lives we lead.