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Dear Formula-Feeding Moms,
I just want to take a moment to say I’m sorry.
When I had my first child, I’ll admit I wasn’t very understanding of your choices. I’d see you with your formula and bottle, and I’d roll my eyes. It felt like you were either misinformed or just didn’t want to try breastfeeding. I was judgmental, thinking you were prioritizing your convenience over what was best for your baby.
Need some sleep? I thought you were just being lazy. Going back to work? Why not pump? Planning a trip before your little one’s first birthday? I had some pretty harsh judgments about that too. I really believed that breastfeeding was the only way to go, and anything else was second-rate.
I knew there were some moms who truly couldn’t nurse, but I thought they were rare. I didn’t consider the struggles of those dealing with health issues or trauma. I finally met a mom who had to formula-feed for medical reasons, and I felt protective over her. But still, I assumed there weren’t many stories like hers.
The truth is, my harsh views were rooted in my own insecurities. Nursing was tough for me. In my circle, I felt isolated, as I was often the only one breastfeeding. I constantly worried about my baby’s intake and whether he was getting enough nutrition. When I rolled my eyes at you, it was a misguided way to seek validation for my choices.
I was drawn to the idea of being part of a parenting tribe, and it seemed easier to bond over sneering at other methods than to embrace the diverse ways we all parent. The more I grew confident in my own choices, the more I realized that there are countless reasons why a mom might choose formula, whether it’s due to physical issues, personal circumstances, or simply a different parenting philosophy.
Do I think all moms should give nursing a shot? Yes. But I also recognize that every family is unique, and I totally respect those who go the formula route. I apologize for my past judgments and the eye rolls; I was projecting my worries about my own parenting onto you. For that, I’m sincerely sorry.
So, next time you witness someone looking down on a formula feeder, consider what might be going on behind that judgment. Sure, feel angry, but also remember that we’re all just trying to do our best, even when we feel like it’s not enough.
Further Reading
If you want to dive deeper into the topic of parenting choices, check out our other blog post here. And for more expert insights on artificial insemination, Make a Mom is a great resource. Plus, Healthline provides excellent information on intrauterine insemination.
Summary
This heartfelt letter addresses the author’s past judgments toward formula-feeding moms and reflects on the insecurities that fueled those feelings. It emphasizes understanding and respect for diverse parenting choices, encouraging empathy rather than criticism among mothers.