I Don’t Need to Live Through My Daughter’s College Experience

home insemination Kit

We recently attended a talk from a college admissions officer who highlighted the incredible diversity among students at their school. It was fascinating to hear how different backgrounds and passions create a vibrant environment where students inspire one another. Throughout the visit, I couldn’t help but nudge (okay, maybe nag) my daughter to seize all the fantastic opportunities college offers.

She’s leaning towards small liberal arts colleges, just like the one I attended. I can’t stop raving about their benefits, while she rolls her eyes and says, “Mom, I get it. No need to convince me about liberal arts schools.”

I was so excited for her to dive into this new life—spending afternoons on the lawn, reading under trees, engaging in late-night debates, or jamming to folk music. As we strolled through the campus and checked out the dorms, I couldn’t resist pointing out flyers for glee clubs, dance competitions, and political groups—things I know she’d love but doesn’t have time for in high school.

“Mom, I see them,” she said, playfully swatting my hand away for the umpteenth time while the tour guide spoke.

Truth be told, I care just a little about what she chooses to do in college. At the end of the day, she’s a go-getter with values I admire, and I trust she’ll find amazing opportunities wherever she ends up. What I really feel is a twinge of nostalgia for the choices I once had. I miss being the target audience for all those flyers, beckoning me to join in.

After the tour, we hurried home for my first rehearsal with a new choir. In the car, we chatted excitedly—uplifted by Broadway tunes—about her interest in the school’s guest speakers, travel programs, and diverse student body. But as I stepped into choir practice, I was struck by a wave of culture shock amidst a sea of silver hair and cozy sweaters. I thought to myself, “Where are the fresh ideas? Oh wait, that’s my daughter’s new adventure, not mine.”

As we began singing, the murmurs of conversation bubbled up between phrases. I found out the woman next to me taught music at a local Christian school, introducing me to a lovely mix of ideas and expertise. I quickly realized that my break from choral singing meant I had some catching up to do. It had been years since I sang regularly, and the thrill of harmonizing was overshadowed by my struggle to keep up with the notes. I used to breeze through music, but now I was counting beats like a math problem.

An hour in, my eyes started to ache, straining to read the music through my contacts. I leaned closer to my neighbor to catch her pitch, feeling like my college days were slipping further away. Back then, I packed my semesters with every subject imaginable—philosophy, English, French, musical theater, dance, history, and just enough math and science to graduate. I was a “Jane-of-all-trades,” helping other students while I sought my own answers.

Looking at my life now, it’s not that different from those days. As a freelance writer and editor, I’m constantly exploring new topics and working with diverse clients. I still teach writing occasionally and have performed in community theater. I’m even expanding my fitness instruction beyond yoga. I’m still majoring in Life, and I’ll always be a Jane-of-all-trades. By the end of the season, I even snagged a tiny solo in the choir performance. Maybe college is about discovering what you love, while adulthood is about finding those opportunities, or creating your own.

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In summary, I’m learning that I don’t need to live through my daughter’s experiences. We can both pursue our passions, whether it’s her exciting college journey or my own adventures in life and creativity.