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Navigating Social Media as a Parent of a College Student
A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with a friend who was scrolling through photos on her phone. She paused to show me pictures of her daughter, a freshman in college. My friend, a smart and capable woman with two well-adjusted kids, looked at me with concern. “Doesn’t she look good? Doesn’t she look happy? Everything’s okay, right?” Her daughter indeed looked vibrant and joyful, but like any mom, my friend still felt that familiar worry about her well-being.
As I listened to her, I couldn’t help but think of Miss Clavel from the Madeline books, who always sensed when something was off. That maternal instinct is a double-edged sword; we’re always on alert for signs that something might be amiss. In the past, parents had little insight into their college kids’ lives—communication was limited to letters or the occasional phone call. College students could undergo various changes, from new hairstyles to the infamous freshman 15, and parents would remain blissfully unaware until they returned home for the holidays.
Fast forward to today, and it’s a whole new ballgame. Parents can now spend hours dissecting their children’s social media posts—analyzing photos on Instagram or Facebook, counting drinks in their hands, scrutinizing their outfits, and trying to decode the body language between friends and partners. We worry about late-night party pictures and wonder if our kids are truly happy or just putting on a brave face. And when we see no updates at all, our minds race with concern—are they feeling isolated?
When my son went off to college in 2010, I joined Facebook to keep tabs on him. His pictures became my lifeline, allowing me to peek into his life and gauge his emotional state from 3,000 miles away. This constant connection, however, can be overwhelming for parents. Kids need their space to grow, and we should respect that distance. College is a crucial time for personal development, and seeing our children at their worst moments—be it due to too much partying or emotional struggles—can be tough for any parent.
Social media offers a unique blessing and curse: the ability to connect anytime with our kids, no matter where they are. But perhaps a little ignorance is bliss. It might be healthier for both parents and kids if we weren’t so aware of their lives once they leave home. After all, a little more privacy could be beneficial for everyone involved.
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In summary, while social media provides us with insights into our college students’ lives, it can also heighten our anxiety. Balancing concern and allowing our children the freedom to grow is essential for their well-being and our peace of mind.