When ‘Not Fair’ Is the Only Choice

home insemination Kit

Updated: Dec. 20, 2015
Originally Published: July 19, 2015

The pungent smell of cigarette smoke lingered in the air. In his defense, the smoker did seem to be making an effort to keep the smoke away from the kids. He shuffled along the edge of the playground, facing away from the bustling group of children. It wasn’t like he was puffing directly in my son’s face, but the noxious odor wafting through the air was strong enough to make me feel like he might as well have been. As I felt a headache from the fumes brew, I knew what was coming: “It’s not fair.”

Here’s the deal with cigarette smoke: it doesn’t just vanish like a beer can or a discarded piece of chewing tobacco. It seeps into the air, drifting into the space where children are playing.

I don’t think I’m overly strict, but I believe playground rules exist for a reason. Sure, I’ve ignored the “no food or drink” rule more than a few times—my kids need snacks after running wild on the swings. But the “No Smoking” sign? That one has no gray area in my book. My kids shouldn’t have to navigate through a cloud of smoke in a place meant for them to play freely.

As a parent, I’ve found it tough to deal with these scenarios. Confronting someone about the rules feels awkward, and asking a smoker to put out their cigarette has often been met with eye-rolls and pushback. I imagine getting sarcastic would only lead to more sarcasm. And I can’t just let my kids play in an area where they’re exposed to secondhand smoke.

So, my usual option is to gather my kids and leave, whether that means heading home or finding another smoke-free spot. They often tell me it’s not fair, and honestly, they’re right: it truly isn’t fair. It’s not fair that my children have to miss out because someone else isn’t following the rules. It’s not fair that I have to change our plans because someone doesn’t take the risks of secondhand smoke seriously.

Research shows that exposure to secondhand smoke can have serious long-term effects on children. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, of the over 7,000 chemicals in secondhand smoke, many are toxic, with at least 70 known to cause cancer. Children exposed to secondhand smoke are at higher risk for numerous health issues, including:

1. Asthmatic episodes becoming more frequent and severe.
2. Increased risk of lung cancer, ear infections, pneumonia, and bronchitis.
3. Cognitive impairments that can hinder learning abilities, with millions at risk for reading deficits.
4. Elevated chances of developing heart disease, stroke, and heart attack.

As the smell of smoke continued to surround us, I rounded up my boys and told them we needed to go. They looked at me, and I could see the words forming in their eyes, so I spoke first: “I know, it’s not fair.” But in my mind, I added, “but it’s better than the alternative.”

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In summary, navigating situations like smoking near children can feel unfair. Parents often have to make tough choices to protect their kids, even if it means leaving a fun environment.