Kids, Seriously, Don’t Even Try It. Mom Always Knows

home insemination Kit

The other day, I found myself nestled in our living room with a book in hand, enjoying a moment of peace. You see, the room has a direct view into my 3-year-old twins’ playroom, and let’s just say they aren’t the best nappers.

They must have thought I was oblivious because one of them decided to hang from the top bunk like a little monkey, trying to swing into his brother’s bottom bunk while the other one cackled like it was the funniest thing ever.

“Get back in your bed!” I called out, startling him so much that he lost his grip and tumbled down.

“You scared me!” he exclaimed as he scrambled back up the ladder.

Well, I didn’t feel a bit sorry for him; after all, I’ve told him not to dangle off the side of the bed at least twenty billion times.

Here’s something I’ve learned about my boys: when they think they can get away with something—not because they ever have, but because they assume I’m not watching—they go for it. It’s understandable in a busy household, but they still haven’t grasped one fundamental truth: this mom sees and knows everything!

What Every Mom Knows

1. I know exactly what you’re up to, even if I can’t see you.
   Call it maternal instinct or just plain experience; I know. I can tell when you sneak off to the bathroom that you’re probably planning to play with the plunger—again. I’m aware that if you dash upstairs, you’ll be heading straight for that forbidden computer of your dad’s, and I know you’ll accidentally close out his work before you even get to your game.
2. I’m always paying attention, even when it seems otherwise.
   When that phone rings and you think I’m distracted, guess what? I’m still tuned in. I hear your footsteps on the stairs leading to the baby gate you’ll try to dismantle in two seconds flat. And when you think I’m engrossed in conversation, I know you’re plotting to make a mess with that cup you think you can fill with water from the dishwasher.
3. As soon as I step out, you’re plotting your next move.
   If I go upstairs for a moment, I know you’re itching to open that LEGO container on the counter and create a mess before I come back. I can practically predict that when I leave to put your baby brother to sleep, you’ll be raiding the fridge for grapes faster than I can say “nap time.”
4. Silence is rarely a good sign.
   When the house is quiet, it often means you’re doing something you shouldn’t be. Like using that crayon you found to color the carpet red or unraveling an entire roll of paper towels to create a “special” car bag. Trust me, your quiet isn’t fooling me at all.
5. I know you—every ounce of your wild, adventurous spirit.
   I get your knack for turning everything into an adventure, whether it’s the plunger, paper towels, or anything else you can find. Your creativity is boundless, and while it’s challenging to manage that strong will, I love every wild and wonderful part of you.

So, the next time you think about trying to see what happens when you put a balloon in the toilet, just remember: I will know. Always.

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Summary

Moms possess an uncanny ability to know what their kids are up to, even when it seems like they aren’t watching. From predicting mischievous behavior to understanding the silence that often signals trouble, this piece humorously highlights the insightful and watchful nature of motherhood.