Dear Friends,

home insemination Kit

Thank you for being adventurous enough to come visit a home filled with a teething little one, a spirited “threenager,” and two exhausted parents. I genuinely enjoy your company, which is why I invited you into our chaotic abode. However, I owe you a few apologies for the unique experience you may have had – let’s just say it’s not quite the same as booking a room at a fancy hotel down the street.

I’m sorry my toddler’s enthusiastic rendition of “The Wheels on the Bus” at 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning woke you up. That’s just how we roll around here!

I apologize for the only yogurt option being cotton candy-flavored and served in a push-up tube. Gourmet dining, we are not.

I’m also sorry you were jolted awake when you encountered a potty chair insert that serenades you with a Disney princess tune while you were trying to use the bathroom. The magic can be a bit startling!

I regret that my toddler decided your skin was the perfect canvas for stickers, including some rather questionable placements on your eyelids and leg hairs.

I’m sorry the house had a bit of dust. I had enough time to vacuum before your arrival – the only chore that got done, unfortunately.

I apologize for the frequent appearances of a naked tiny human during your stay. Yes, we’re in the throes of potty training!

I’m sorry that we had to eat dinner super early to avoid the dinner crowd, where I’m sure my toddler’s ketchup consumption would raise a few eyebrows. Next time, let’s just do takeout!

I’m sorry the baby’s cries disrupted your sleep. We practice “crying it out,” so we can’t help it (sorry, not sorry).

I apologize for our adult conversations being conducted in whispers once the kids are finally asleep. #lightestsleepersever

I’m sorry that one of you had to eat standing up since two of our chairs are taken by a booster seat and a baby seat.

And I’m sorry if you end up with a cold after visiting; my kids seem to bring home what we call “The Daycare Special” on a regular basis.

Yes, a home with kids is vastly different from one without them. But despite all the noise and chaos, remember that you’re always welcome here, even if it means sacrificing some sleep and privacy for a whole lot of love. If you want more insights on home insemination, check out this link. And if you’re curious about fertility options, this site is a great resource. For anyone looking into IVF, here’s another excellent resource for you.

In summary, thank you for braving our lively household! Your understanding and patience mean the world to us, and we hope to see you again soon.