10 Times You’ve Used Your Kids as an Excuse

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Before I became a parent, I would often scoff at friends who relied on their children as a convenient excuse to dodge plans or responsibilities. “Who does that?” I’d think to myself. Fast forward to today, and guess what? I’m totally guilty of it, and I bet you are too if you have little ones at home. Here are a few classic scenarios that might hit home:

1. Remember that time you polished off an entire box of brownies in just one day? You casually told your partner, “The kids were begging for them,” and “They devoured them all.”

2. That moment you were out grocery shopping with your toddler and, while distracted by your phone, you knocked over a display of apples. When the store manager appeared, you quickly tucked your device away and exclaimed, “I’m so sorry! My little one accidentally caused that mess!”

3. When your friend with no kids invited you out for drinks at 9:30 p.m. on a Wednesday, you glanced at your sweatpants and the Netflix lineup, then responded, “I’d love to, but my kid has been sick all night. I wouldn’t want to risk sharing it with you.”

4. Your boss requested you to stay an extra hour at work, and you replied, “I really can’t; if I don’t pick the kids up by 5:30, they’ll charge me a late fee.” (Even though your daycare is open until 7 p.m.)

5. When your partner requested your famous spaghetti dish for dinner, you opted for takeout instead, claiming, “The kids have been so wonderful today that I promised them a treat!”

6. You asked a store clerk for a bigger size, saying, “I just had a baby,” even though your “baby” is already in the second grade.

7. When your buddies invited you over to watch the game, you claimed, “I can’t make it; I’m on kid duty,” even though you were secretly relieved to avoid the game and hang out with your little one instead.

8. That time you ducked out of a work picnic early, telling your colleagues that your daughter had a little accident and you needed to grab her some clothes, when in reality, you were rushing to catch the latest animated movie.

9. You showed up 20 minutes late to drop your son off at school and told the teacher, “Sorry, we were just working on tying his shoes. Didn’t want to rush him!”

10. When asked for a favor by someone who never seems grateful, you feigned a busy schedule with, “I really wish I could help, but I need to assist the kids with their homework.”

You know you’ve been there! Parenting can be hectic, and sometimes a little white lie is just what you need to escape for a moment.

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In summary, we all use our kids as a handy excuse from time to time, and it’s perfectly relatable. Embrace the chaos of parenting and the occasional fib that comes with it!