23 Eating Rules According to a Toddler

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Hey there! If you’ve ever had a meal with a toddler, you know it’s quite the experience. Here are 23 rules that they seem to live by when it comes to food:

1. Start your day by rejecting anything that isn’t Cheerios. And no milk on Mondays, Thursdays, and those special every-other Fridays.
2. If someone messes that up, it’s time to have a mini meltdown.
3. New foods? Nope, not happening—ever.
4. Just because you devoured something yesterday doesn’t mean you’ll touch it today. Your taste buds are allowed to change whimsically.
5. Anything that used to be alive? Approach with caution. Stale, orange stuff is your new best friend.
6. While grocery shopping, ask for a full buffet of options, but when you get home, either act like you’ve never seen them or refuse to eat them once cooked.
7. Spend quality time memorizing brand names to ensure you only eat the “real” stuff.
8. If it takes more than 30 seconds to prepare, it’s a no-go.
9. Keep asking how long until food is ready, and if it takes too long, throw a fit on the floor.
10. If the meal comes out half-frozen, that’s okay—you weren’t going to eat it anyway.
11. Wednesdays? No eating allowed. Just because.
12. Insist on having a spoon, knife, and two forks at every meal, but use your hands anyway.
13. Demand one particular plate and throw a tantrum if it’s dirty.
14. Make a game out of clearing your plate onto the floor. After all, someone is always cleaning up, right?
15. Sweet potato chips? Purely offensive.
16. Steer clear of anything with sauce; it could be hiding blended veggies.
17. Water? Nope. Just wait until you’re parched, and then teach everyone a lesson by getting dehydrated.
18. Always say you’re starving when you’re in the bath—timing is everything!
19. Train yourself to wake up at midnight for bananas. It’s a skill!
20. Casseroles, stews, and pies? Not trustworthy at all.
21. Seriously, sweet potato chips are just wrong.
22. Kick anyone who calls broccoli “little trees”—that’s just rude.
23. Avocado? Absolutely not—what even is that?

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In summary, toddlers have a unique and often hilarious set of rules when it comes to food that can leave parents scratching their heads. From their strict breakfast demands to their unique aversions, feeding a toddler can be a trial of patience and creativity.