What I’ve Learned After 15 Years of Marriage

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In our cozy living room, there’s a big wedding photo hanging above the couch where my husband, Ryan, often nods off around 9 p.m. Most evenings, one of us finds ourselves gazing at that picture of our younger selves, and boy, has life taught us a thing or two since then! It’s amusing to think back to that moment when I was just a few days shy of turning 26, feeling like I was ancient for getting married at that age.

After 15 years of marriage, I’ve gathered a few nuggets of wisdom. Life is busier than ever, with each of us juggling work, parenting, and the occasional date night. We crave moments alone, time together, and family bonding, yet we often find ourselves racing from one commitment to another. But amidst the chaos, there’s a unique beauty to this phase of our lives—something I couldn’t grasp back when we first tied the knot. Ryan is my teammate; we hold each other accountable, and sometimes, we’re just holding each other up through the ups and downs. It truly feels like it’s us against the world—or at least against our kids!

Looking back at that wedding photo, I remember thinking I had it all figured out. I snagged my blue-eyed prince, and the hard part was behind us. Oh, how naive that was! Getting married is the easy part; it’s the staying married that tests you. If only I could tell my younger self that! While I’ve had my share of baggage over these years, Ryan is the one person who truly understands it.

There were moments so low that I didn’t think we’d make it through another day. I often imagined packing our minivan and heading for the hills. But I chose to stay and see what the next day would bring. Then there were the highs when we felt like we had cracked the marriage code—communication was our forte, and we were all about discovery and understanding.

Through all the highs and lows, we’ve encountered challenges that have shaped us as a couple. From unexpected health issues to the trials of infertility (which is another massive story), financial roller coasters, and the joys of raising kids and pets, every experience has added depth to our relationship. Now, as we approach year 16, I want to tell my 25-year-old self that the wedding was just the beginning of a journey uniquely ours.

There’s something incredibly comforting about having someone who knows you inside out. Ryan gets my parenting instincts, understands when it’s time to leave a gathering, and knows that I’ll have his back—even if it means cutting off our friends at 10 p.m. on New Year’s Eve because he’s had his fill of socializing. We’ve finally come to a place where we truly understand each other and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s a bit crazy that people marry so young—especially in their 20s. It feels like a lot of folks rush into it, fearing they might never take the leap if they wait too long. Despite all my education, travel, and reading, I was utterly unprepared for the wild ride that these last 15 years have been. And you know what? I’m excited to see what the next 15 have in store!

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Summary

After 15 years of marriage, I’ve learned that while the wedding day is just the start, the real journey involves navigating life’s challenges together. From the chaos of parenting to the joy of shared experiences, having a supportive partner makes all the difference.