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Hey friends,
I need to chat about something that’s been on my mind. When your partner is working late, traveling, or just not around for a bit, you are NOT “Single Momming It.” Seriously, let’s stop using that phrase. I get that it’s not meant to be harmful, but it just doesn’t sit right. So, what does “Single Momming” really mean?
Most days, I’m the one managing everything—early mornings, potty training, meals, soccer practices, dentist visits, and all those other parenting tasks. And yes, I get all the joyful moments too, which I cherish. I’m the sole contributor to our college fund and the one who pays the bills. Every aspect of my child’s life—his education, friendships, happiness, and well-being—rests on my shoulders every single day, without exception. Sure, I have a supportive boyfriend who loves my kid, but the day-to-day responsibilities are mine alone.
I work full-time while caring for my son during the day. After he’s asleep, I sneak in time to shower with the door ajar, worrying about what could go wrong while I’m busy. Once he’s tucked in, I dive back into work to secure our future, since I’m the one responsible for keeping a roof over our heads and putting food on the table.
At the end of the day, I often collapse in bed, wondering if I did enough for my little one. Did I laugh with him enough? Will he feel loved and secure? There’s no one to reassure me that I did well today or to share those little parenting victories with.
When I manage to squeeze in some me-time—like a haircut or dinner with friends—I have to pay for a sitter, which isn’t cheap. So please, I truly empathize with those hectic days you experience when your partner is away. I see you’re juggling a lot, and I get that it’s tough. But remember, your challenges are temporary, while mine feel more permanent. I didn’t choose this path; I always envisioned raising my child with two loving parents, but life had other plans. I’m not looking for pity—just a bit of understanding.
I love my child deeply and am grateful for him every day, doing my best because he deserves it. I smile through the exhaustion and occasional bitterness. All I ask is for you to recognize the difference between our experiences. We’re all amazing moms doing our best, and we all have our struggles.
So, can we save the term “Single Momming It” for those of us who truly are?
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Summary:
This piece highlights the importance of understanding the unique challenges faced by single moms. It emphasizes that while everyone has their struggles, the experiences of a single mother are often permanent and should be respected as such. The author calls for empathy and clarity in language surrounding parenting roles.