A Heartfelt Apology from a Reformed Overconfident New Mom

home insemination Kit

As I kicked back with a drink tonight, reveling in the blissful silence of my child finally asleep, a wave of realization hit me. I owe a massive apology to all the seasoned moms out there. It took me a couple of years, but I finally get it. I understand the knowing smiles and eye rolls now when I was that new mom convinced I had it all figured out. Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

I was that enthusiastic new mom who spent nine months transforming into a self-proclaimed parenting guru, thanks to my trusty internet searches and endless reading. I thought I had all the answers about pregnancy, childbirth, and the elusive art of parenting. I genuinely believed that my hours of research made me more equipped than those of you who had lived through motherhood.

I was a total know-it-all, and I’m genuinely sorry for that. I was just so excited and wanted to do everything perfectly. Seriously, thank you for your patience and for not telling me to knock it off back then.

I apologize for the way I shot daggers at you with my eyes when you gently suggested that breastfeeding may not be my thing and that it was going to be okay. I regret brushing off your advice to unswaddle my baby to help her sleep. I cringe at the memory of insisting you show my newborn flashcards when she was too tiny to even focus. I even buried that cute onesie you bought her because I swore she’d never wear anything with cartoon characters in public.

I’m sorry for freaking out when you tried to sneak my kid a bite of food weeks before the “official” time to start solids. I shouldn’t have gotten mad when you offered her a cheese curl. I dismissed your well-intentioned advice because it didn’t align with what I had “read.” I remember telling you that whatever you were suggesting wasn’t how things were done anymore—whatever that was supposed to mean.

I was on a mission to do everything “right.” I envisioned a perfect vaginal birth, effortless breastfeeding, and a baby who would sleep peacefully swaddled in her own bed, all while I raised the smartest, most polite child in history. Spoiler alert: none of that went as planned.

I ended up needing a C-section, my baby wouldn’t latch, so I pumped for a year and used formula. She hated being swaddled, despite my collection of fancy blankets. We eventually traded those flashcards for building blocks and, gasp, Barbie dolls. My kid loves potato chips and sugary cereal, she doesn’t always say “please” or “thank you,” and there are plenty of tantrums along the way. My house is often a disaster zone, and I’m perpetually exhausted.

You’ll be pleased to know that this morning, I sent my kid to daycare wearing a Minnie Mouse shirt and matching tutu because she adores it and I found it on sale. Her hair was a mess because I couldn’t find the brush in time, and I let the snot on her face stay there as I hurried her into the classroom.

Being a mom is nothing like I imagined, but I’ve learned to embrace the chaos. I accept that I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes daily. I still strive to do my best for my child, but I’ve adopted a much more realistic approach. I’ve learned that I don’t have all the answers, and I genuinely value your insights now more than ever.

So, thank you. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for listening when I needed to vent. Thank you for holding back and allowing me to navigate this journey on my own.

In case you’re curious about more parenting insights, check out some excellent resources, like this one on pregnancy and home insemination that can help guide you through this wild ride. If you’re looking for fertility support, take a look at this fertility booster for men too!

In summary, I’ve come a long way from that overconfident new mom phase and have learned to navigate motherhood with more grace (and a lot more humor).