Life Lessons During Military Leave: A Journey of Growth

Today marks the final day of waking up solo. It’s the last day I juggle brushing my teeth while balancing on one foot, dodging my overly curious ten-month-old from diving into the toilet. It’s the last morning I prepare breakfast for my three-year-old while soothing my teething infant. And tonight, once I tuck them into bed, I’ll sit at the edge of my bed, head in hands, contemplating all the little stresses that have led to the tears of exhaustion. Tomorrow, my husband returns home.

Being married to someone in the military teaches you to navigate challenges you never anticipated—like dealing with a dropped call during an important conversation that spirals into anxiety, or relying on friends and family to maintain your sanity during long stretches apart.

This experience has been tough on our family, stretching us in ways we didn’t expect and ultimately making us stronger.

Lesson 1: Embrace help and shed your pride

When people offer assistance, don’t brush it off. Your sanity is far more important than maintaining a facade of self-sufficiency. But be clear about what you need—otherwise, your friends may not know how to help.

Lesson 2: You won’t accomplish everything you’d like

I’ve had to let go of certain expectations and accept that compromise is essential. Yes, my kids watched more TV than I would have preferred, and fast food became a more frequent option than I’d care to admit. But sometimes, you just have to do what it takes to get through.

Lesson 3: You’re both dealing with your own struggles, each in different ways

Amidst the teething, tantrums, and sleepless nights, resentment can creep in. My husband was enjoying uninterrupted sleep, while I was overwhelmed at home. Yet, he too was missing out on precious moments—the first words, the first crawl, the first games of peek-a-boo. He longed for his family just as much as I needed him.

Lesson 4: Vulnerability is real

With emotions running high on both sides, it doesn’t take much to spark a disagreement. You’ll have fights, lose your cool, and face challenges together.

Lesson 5: If something can go wrong, it likely will

Mishaps seem to crop up in clusters—be it health issues, broken appliances, or sudden job changes.

Lesson 6: Discovering your own strength

The best advice I received wasn’t about how quickly time flies or that everything would be okay. It was about discovering your own strength. I learned just how capable I truly am, balancing resilience and vulnerability in a way I hadn’t before.

While I hope to never face this situation again, it’s a possibility that lingers. This message is for those who are enduring the absence of their partner—remember, you are not alone in your struggles. And for those who don’t share this experience, know that your kindness and support can make a world of difference.

So here’s to the families managing each day, minute by minute. I wouldn’t wish this experience on anyone, but I’m grateful for the strength it has forged in our family.

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Summary

Navigating life with a partner in the military brings unique challenges and lessons. From accepting help and managing expectations to recognizing shared struggles and vulnerabilities, the journey fosters strength and resilience in families. Remember, support from friends and family is invaluable during these times.