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Mom Friends vs. Friends Who Are Moms
You know you’re deep in the motherhood trenches when you’re casually chatting about nipple shields with a woman you just met. “Trust me, cracked nipples are the worst!” I found myself saying to a new mom the other day. “And get ready for some vibrant orange poop when you introduce sweet potatoes!” I cautioned another mom, who was about to give her little one a taste for the first time. It’s funny how quickly these conversations can turn intimate among new mothers.
As I navigate my 30s, I’ve noticed that my social circle is shifting into a baby-centric phase. A couple of my closest friends welcomed little ones just around the same time I did, and it’s been such a joy to share the ups and downs of parenthood with them. These are my ‘friends who are moms.’ They understand that movie nights now start after bedtime and send out invites with “babies welcome :)” Our babies aren’t seen as an inconvenience but as part of the fun. It feels like we’ve all picked up a new hobby together, and it’s sweet.
Then there are the ‘mom friends’ — those lovely women I might not have connected with otherwise if we hadn’t both had babies around the same time. I know all about little Mason’s favorite storybook and his new nap schedule, but I often realize I don’t know much about his mom, the person behind the magic. Our conversations revolve almost exclusively around our kids.
Luckily, the line between these two groups is not so rigid. Several ‘friends who are moms’ started off as just another breastfeeding mama, but as we’ve gotten to know each other, their personalities have emerged through Facebook posts and shared articles. I’ve begun to ask about their careers and interests, and they’ve transformed into more than just “another mom”—they’ve become whole people in my eyes.
I suspect my circle of ‘mom friends’ will continue to grow as my child begins to make her own friends (I hear birthday parties are a whole new adventure for us parents). I’ll have to brush up on my small talk and remember which topics are best left untouched. Eventually, playdates will evolve into my daughter forming friendships independently, and the ‘mom friends’ will become just “Emily’s mom” in conversation.
For now, though, I find it amusing to discuss nipple creams and diaper contents with women I’ve known for all of five minutes. This strange bond among ‘mom friends’ develops quickly, as we all crave adult connections and reassurance that our experiences are normal. While these friendships may feel less deep than my lifelong friendships, they still serve an important purpose in this wild parenting journey.
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In summary, navigating friendships in motherhood can lead to surprising connections, from ‘friends who are moms’ to ‘mom friends,’ each bringing their own unique support to this life-changing experience.