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It’s Totally Fine If Your Teen Prefers to Fit In Rather Than Stand Out
Hey there, friend! So, let’s chat about something that might be on your mind—your teen’s social life. If you’ve noticed that your kiddo tends to follow the crowd instead of leading the pack, don’t stress! Back in the day, I was all about blending in too. My clothing choices? Totally not about being trendy or trying to be someone I wasn’t. Nope! I just wanted to fly under the radar. I figured if I dressed like everyone else, I could focus on what really mattered—like my drama club and music group. If I could look like every other girl in school, that was a win for me.
Interestingly, recent research published in Psychological Science suggests that teens who conform to their peer groups might actually enjoy better health as adults. Crazy, right? Psychologists from the University of Virginia tracked kids from ages 13 to 17, checking in with them about their friendships and how well they fit in with their peers. Fast forward to their mid-20s, and those who had solid friendships and blended in reported better overall well-being. Maybe that instinct to conform is a good thing after all!
Honestly, I’ve often felt a bit silly for not being more of a standout in school. I hung out with my drama buddies, which was its own little world of social norms. And guess what? The findings from UVA align with another study showing that teens who jammed out to heavy metal in the ’80s turned into happy, successful adults. They found comfort and support within their subculture, proving that fitting in has its perks.
Now, as a parent, I want to encourage my kids to explore their individuality, but let’s face it—we’re social beings. Even as adults, we conform to social expectations. I mean, no one wears jeans to a black-tie wedding, right? The real red flag to watch for is social isolation. As noted in the research, while it’s important for teens to discover their unique interests, pushing them too hard in that direction might lead to future health issues.
So, if my son wants to wear the same clothes as his friends this year or seems to go along with the group, I’m not going to worry too much (as long as he’s not doing anything unethical, of course). Forming strong bonds with his peers is crucial, and if that means a trip to the local store for some trendy threads, I’m all in!
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In summary, it’s absolutely okay if your teen prefers to fit in rather than stand out. Research shows that strong friendships and a little conformity can lead to better health in adulthood. So, support your teen in forming connections with their peers, and don’t stress if they want to dress like everyone else.