Why I’m Going to Let My Kid Eat the School Lunch

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So, my little one is about to start kindergarten, and I’m already stressing about what to do about cafeteria food. Back when I was in public school in the ’80s, my mom made sure I never bought a school lunch. With all my allergies, she thought it was nearly impossible to find anything safe for me to eat, plus she believed they were just plain gross.

Fast forward to today, and looking at the school lunch menu in our district, not much has changed. In just one week, they offer fried burgers, fried chicken, and fried cheese. Chocolate milk is on the menu every day—definitely sweet enough to count as dessert! But honestly, it’s not the unhealthy ingredients that bother me; it’s the fact that it feels so institutional. I get that schools are trying to balance nutrition, taste, and budget, but if my son has the option of school food—which I imagine tastes about as good as hospital food—shouldn’t I just pack his lunch every time?

Surprisingly, I’m leaning toward letting him try the school lunches. Here’s why: because I wasn’t allowed to eat those lunches as a kid, they became this forbidden fruit. The delicious smell of grilled cheese and tomato soup floating through the halls was torture. I still think about that American Chop Suey dish—a mix of macaroni, hamburger, and tomato sauce—that I often recreate to use up leftovers. My food restrictions drove me nuts; I once found a box of Twinkies, ate 17 of them (also forbidden because of allergies), and ended up in the hospital! I might just be the only person in the world who dreams about the school lunches she missed out on 30 years ago.

Now, I find the school lunches pretty unappealing, but that’s just my opinion. My son recently devoured a terrible hamburger and soggy fries from a sketchy diner and declared it the best meal he’s ever had. I want him to have a sense of what “good” food is, but I realize his taste buds will develop in their own time. Trying to completely restrict him from certain foods could backfire, making them even more enticing.

I’ve been following Ellyn Satter’s approach to feeding kids, which promotes a “division of responsibility”—the parent decides what to serve, and the child chooses if and how much to eat. So, I could easily say that I’ll pack his lunch, and he can choose whether to eat it or not. But completely denying him the school lunch might just create that forbidden allure I experienced. Satter suggests letting kids sit down to a plate of treats like Oreos and eat as many as they want, helping them learn self-regulation.

I think I’ll do something similar with the school lunches. We’ll check out the menu together and pick a couple of days a week when he can buy lunch instead of packing it. This way, he gets a taste of the wider world, which is full of tempting (but sometimes not-so-good) food options. I appreciate Satter’s method because it allows kids to navigate the choices they’ll face as they grow up. Eventually, they’ll encounter vending machines, fast food, and questionable hotel breakfasts. We hope they’ll have a solid home-cooked diet filled with fresh veggies but also learn how to enjoy the occasional stale Danish at an office retreat without making a big deal out of it.

Who knows, he might even find school lunches delicious instead of disgusting. After all, schools are now offering healthier options like kale salad and ginger-sesame coleslaw—way better than when I was a kid. Although, I can’t help but notice that American Chop Suey is still missing from the menu!

In summary, I’m opting to let my kid experience school lunches, hoping he’ll learn to navigate food choices and develop his palate without creating a fear of certain foods.