Recently, we took our 14-year-old daughter, Mia, on a week-long trip to the North Shore of Oahu. While some parents might dread spending a week in close quarters with a teenager, we genuinely enjoy Mia’s company. She’s well-mannered and doesn’t throw tantrums, and her eye-rolling is kept to a minimum.
Having just enjoyed a relaxing week on the Big Island, my partner, Jake, and I were eager to show Mia the beauty of the North Shore, which we’ve visited many times. However, we noticed that Mia seemed anxious and out of her element. She expressed concerns about sun exposure—something I had under control—and struggled to fully engage with her surroundings.
As we strolled along Haleiwa Beach, home to the magnificent Hawaiian Sea Turtles, Mia merely glanced at the turtles before turning back to the condo. The next day at Sunset Beach, she fretted about the waves and the temperature of the sand, complaining that no one was helping her with her boogie board. We decided to carry on with our beach activities, hoping that our carefree approach would inspire her.
The turning point came at Waimea Bay, which transforms into a playful paradise during summer months. The beach is perfect for snorkeling, and pods of dolphins often make an appearance. The main attraction, though, is the iconic rock—a towering black lava formation where visitors jump into the sparkling water below.
Initially, Mia dismissed the idea of jumping off the rock, claiming it “wasn’t her thing.” Yet as we watched others bravely hurl themselves off, she began to reconsider. Finally, she announced to Jake, “I’m going to jump off that rock.” With a mix of excitement and fear, she climbed up and took the plunge.
She later described her landing as akin to “falling onto a bidet set to the highest setting.” Much to our relief, she emerged unscathed, and her spirits lifted dramatically post-jump. It was a pivotal moment—proof that a little thrill can reignite a sense of fun.
Throughout our vacation, I couldn’t shake the worry that Mia was too preoccupied with life’s stresses. I wanted her to learn how to relax and enjoy life like we did, rather than feel like a stressed-out executive. I realize that teaching her how to play and embrace joy might be my most important task as a parent.
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In summary, it’s essential to encourage our teens to reconnect with their playful sides. Whether it’s through adventurous activities or simply enjoying leisure time, helping them find joy is crucial. After all, life is too short to be all business and no fun!