What I Want My Daughter to Understand About Self-Esteem

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Hey there! I wanted to share some thoughts on self-esteem that I wish I could pass on to my daughter. You know, it’s funny how life comes full circle. I’ve struggled with self-esteem issues for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I was incredibly shy and felt really awkward about my body. I often found myself wearing long jeans and sweaters during the summer because I was so self-conscious. I frequently put myself down and felt lost about who I really was.

As I got older, I figured out a way to cope with my feelings of insecurity. I remember a moment at camp when a group of boys called me ugly. Instead of getting upset, I responded with a cheerful, “I know, right?” They laughed, and in that instant, I realized that by poking fun at myself, I could make people laugh—and in turn, that made me feel a little less shy. It worked! The more I joked about myself, the more attention I got. But deep down, I didn’t realize I was hurting myself. Those jokes started to seep into my self-image, and it became one of my biggest regrets. Self-deprecating humor isn’t always the best route.

Now, fast forward to today—I have a 13-year-old daughter named Lily who is facing the same struggles I did. Despite being smart, creative, and full of potential, her self-esteem is at an all-time low, and it breaks my heart. I often feel responsible because, unknowingly, I’ve set an example of negative self-talk. She’s been watching how I treat myself, and sadly, it’s not the best reflection. I’ve passed on the message that being hard on ourselves is just part of being a woman.

It was a wake-up call when she pointed this out to me. I had no idea my words were affecting her so deeply. I’m grateful she was brave enough to say something. I’m now working on being a better role model for her. I have to be mindful of how I speak about myself because I can be pretty harsh.

Here are the things I want Lily to know:

1. Be confident; knowing yourself is your superpower.
2. Embrace who you are; that’s your greatest strength.
3. Support other women on their journeys; together, we rise.
4. Limit TV and social media; focus on movements that challenge unrealistic beauty standards.
5. Remember that Photoshop creates false ideals; be critical of what you see in the media.
6. Keep learning; education is empowering.
7. Don’t put down other girls; it won’t boost your confidence—only make you feel smaller.
8. Live your truth; it will inspire others.
9. Speak up; silence only holds us back.
10. Surround yourself with positive role models; they can broaden your perspective.

Most importantly, I want her to always remember that I love her and believe in her potential.

Interestingly, as I share these hopes for Lily, I realize they apply to me too. Perhaps we can motivate each other to make these ideals a reality.

If you’re interested in more on this topic, check out this post on our blog here. And if you’re curious about home insemination options, Make a Mom has some great resources. For those looking into pregnancy options, NHS is another excellent source of information.

Summary:

In this heartfelt piece, a mother reflects on her own struggles with self-esteem and the impact it has on her teenage daughter. She shares lessons learned over the years and emphasizes the importance of self-love, support, and positive role modeling. As she works on breaking the cycle of negative self-talk, she hopes to inspire her daughter to embrace her true self while navigating the complexities of growing up.