When You Need a Break from the Whole Wife and Mom Thing

home insemination Kit

I remember a night not too long ago when my friend Sarah found herself 300 miles from home, leaving her husband and two teenage kids behind for a little getaway. “I’m so over being a wife,” she sighed as we sipped our first glasses of pinot grigio and the band started playing. “And I’m just tired of being a mom. I really need a break!” I totally got where she was coming from.

Back when my husband was alive, we joked about how my favorite evenings were when he took our daughter out for “Daddy-Daughter Date Night.” And don’t even get me started on those glorious “Daddy-Daughter Weekends.” Those were heavenly! I would leave my schedule wide open, snuggle into bed without a thought about making dinner. Whether it was a simple salad or just some cheese and crackers, it didn’t matter. It was just me taking care of me, and honestly, I craved that time. I’d binge-watch my favorite shows, with melted chocolate on my fingers and no one to fight over the remote. Pure bliss!

Fast forward to now, and being a widow has shifted everything. Those solo nights aren’t the relaxing escapes they once were. Instead, I find myself feeling bored, lonely, and anxious. I’ve sat through countless conversations with friends who complain about their partners being away for a night or two, feeling like they’re drowning in household responsibilities. They’re resentful, but they get to look forward to their partner’s return. For me? There’s no coming back. So during those conversations, I usually just keep quiet.

Sarah felt relief knowing her husband was taking the kids out for a weekend without her. “They all need that,” she said. “He needs to be more involved, and they should get to know their dad better.” I completely understood her perspective.

In my marriage, we had our roles down: I managed our daughter and the inside of the house—cooking, doctor visits, school stuff—while my husband took care of the outside—managing the pets, the lawn, the pool. He was a great dad, but I still often felt like a single mom, thinking I was doing it all while he just walked the dogs. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Looking back, I see that his presence was invaluable. Sure, I cooked, but he handled the dishes. I did the laundry, but he folded it. When our daughter had tough days, he was the one to lift her spirits. Every morning, he took her to school, and even when she got older, he still tucked her in at night.

We spent nearly 20 years together, so I know that marriages have their ups and downs. To weather those storms, we leaned on love, trust, and respect—even when patience was thin and appreciation seemed scarce. We both valued our space, and if Joel were still here, I have no doubt I’d be leading the charge for girls’ nights out, with him cheering me on.

These days, I don’t feel that same urgency to escape. When I do find a bit of free time, I want to spend it with my boyfriend, Mark. Our relationship is still relatively new, and while I hate to sound cynical, I can see a future where I might opt out of some of his gigs to enjoy a night of bad TV by myself. Maybe I’ll even take a road trip with a friend just because she asks me to. It’s hard to imagine now, given how excited we are about each other, but I know great relationships thrive on a little space.

That’s exactly why Sarah poured herself another glass of pinot and hit the dance floor—because sometimes, we all need to recharge.

For more on navigating the journey of home insemination and pregnancy, check out this great resource on pregnancy. And if you’re looking into self-insemination options, you might find this article about home insemination kits really helpful.

In summary, it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed by the roles of wife and mother. Taking breaks for yourself is essential for your well-being. Embrace those moments, whether it’s having a night out with friends or enjoying some quiet time at home.