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I Don’t Love My Partner Like I Used To — It’s Even Better Now
It used to drive me up the wall. As newlyweds, I couldn’t escape the flood of unsolicited marriage advice. Everyone seemed to think that getting married made them experts, and they were more than willing to share their “wisdom.” Most of it was pretty useless, but there was one couple whose words stuck with me.
We met them on our honeymoon, and looking back, it feels like they had a crystal ball. We stumbled upon them while enjoying cocktails at sunset. The man, who had been happily married for over 50 years, turned to us with a warm smile and said, “No matter how much you think you love each other now, just wait. One day, you’ll realize you don’t love each other like you used to.” After congratulating us, they walked away, leaving me perplexed.
I remember turning to my partner and saying, “What kind of advice is that!?” We both figured it was just another odd tidbit. But now, years later, I see how profound that statement was.
As I sit here in the emergency room, watching you cradle our little one, that conversation floods back to me. This week marks the anniversary of our engagement, and I can’t help but reflect on the last decade. Our son is in pain with a medical issue, but the way you hold him and sing the theme song to his favorite show brings a sense of calm to this chaotic moment. If it weren’t for the IV and hospital bed, you’d think we were just enjoying a cozy evening at home.
I finally understand what that sweet old couple meant. I don’t love you like I used to. But here’s the twist: I misunderstood them. They never said I love you less; they said our love would evolve. This is crucial. Love isn’t static; it transforms as life changes.
Over the past 16 years, we have both changed. Our love has adapted to navigate the ups and downs of parenthood, sickness, and stress. I love you just as much today, but for different reasons than when we first said our vows. Things that once annoyed me are now some of my favorite traits, while others I found charming have lost their appeal.
As I see you comforting our child, I can’t help but appreciate your steady, calm demeanor. It used to frustrate me beyond belief when you remained so composed during crises. If I told you our house was on fire, you’d be the one calmly calculating the best way to escape, while I would be in a panic. Now, I realize how much I rely on that quality.
When our first child was born, I was overwhelmed with fear, but you were there, researching specialists while I was spiraling. Your ability to stay level-headed in tough situations has become a source of strength for our family. I used to wish you were more expressive, but now I’m grateful for your steady presence. You bring balance to our hectic life.
Having two kids with a rare medical issue has reshaped how I view everything, including us. I love you more than ever, and I’m thankful for who you are. I look forward to uncovering more about you that I never noticed before—things that may take time for me to appreciate. By then, our love will have evolved again, but I know I’ll be falling in love with you all over again.
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In summary, love evolves over time, shaped by the experiences we share and the challenges we face together. Embracing these changes allows for a deeper connection that continues to grow throughout life.