18 Things ‘Night Owl’ Parents Totally Get

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I’ve always been a night owl, and it’s no surprise my internal clock ticks three hours behind what most of the world considers normal. My ideal bedtime is around 2 a.m., and I usually roll out of bed around 10 a.m. Back in my single days, I could manage this by choosing jobs that let me start late. But then came kids—who, let me tell you, have zero respect for late nights. I know I’m not the only one; I’ve chatted with many parents who, before kids, would have never known what 7 a.m. looked like. Here are 18 things that resonate with us night owl parents:

1. If you’re fortunate, you married an early riser. This way, you can tag-team nighttime duties, with you handling the last feeding and your partner taking the first shift.
2. If you’re not so lucky, you both might be night owls. You find yourselves awake at 2 a.m. feeding the baby and grumbling at each other to take turns.
3. You’ll invest thousands in child-proofing to turn your living room into a safe haven, allowing you to doze on the couch while your little one plays at 6 a.m. Those short naps are priceless—until the kid tries to stick a toy in your mouth.
4. You often catch yourself yelling, “Go to sleep!” as you scroll through the internet at 2 a.m., while your kids have been snoozing for hours.
5. Yet, the late-night hours can be the sweetest. You’re the only one awake, free to connect with faraway friends or binge-watch classic shows.
6. When it’s your spouse’s turn to sleep in, and they request coffee in bed, you might accidentally spill some of that old brew on them as you deliver it.
7. You engage in a little “would you rather?” game: Would you prefer being woken three times during the night but having everyone sleep until 8 a.m., or getting a solid 8 hours but waking up at 5:30? Spoiler: it doesn’t matter because who can fall asleep by 9:30?
8. School starts way too early.
9. You often wonder how some moms manage to look so put-together. Where are their comfy pants and flip-flops?
10. When the parent-teacher conference sign-up sheet is out and the slots are from 7:05 a.m. to 8:10 a.m., you can’t help but scribble, “LOL WHO CARES!?”
11. After a rare night out with your old friends, you think, “I should do this more often!” until the sound of a hungry baby wakes you, feeling like a jackhammer to your brain.
12. If your partner sleeps through the baby’s cries and you have to poke them awake to take their turn, well, that might lead to some serious discussions about marriage.
13. Those mornings when the kids wake you up before your turn? Pure cruelty.
14. You become obsessed with whose turn it is to get up.
15. You fantasize about having your own space where you could wake up at your leisure, savoring your nine cups of coffee. It could be a mother-in-law suite or even just a cozy closet—anything to escape the morning chaos.
16. You know that being jolted awake is like a fish that’s enjoying a lazy swim, suddenly hooked and thrown into a freezing, chaotic world.
17. You develop a ton of quirky metaphors for the shock of waking up too early.
18. You find yourself pondering how young is too young for your kid to make breakfast? Five? Six? Kids bounce back quickly from little burns, right?

These days, my sleep schedule is all over the place—I even find myself waking up before my kids sometimes, even if I don’t want to. But surely this can’t last forever? Eventually, they’ll be able to dress themselves and get to school, and I might finally find a job that starts later in the day.

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Summary: Being a night owl parent has its unique challenges, from juggling late nights with early mornings to navigating the chaos of parenting. This article humorously highlights the shared experiences of those who thrive in the night but find themselves waking up to the demands of little ones.