How Being Pregnant is Surprisingly Similar to Being Drunk

Let me start by saying that I’ve experienced both pregnancy and drunkenness, but never at the same time (so chill out, okay?). Despite that, there are quite a few parallels between these two unique states.

Emotions Run High

Pregnant: Sure, you may not be a tearful mess every minute of the day, but there will be moments when you’re sobbing over how your childhood cat was the absolute best.

Drunk: You’re not always crying, but at some point, you’ll find yourself in the “I love you, man!” phase or tearing up while recounting that epic story about your childhood cat.

Nausea is Inevitable

Pregnant: If you’re not one of those lucky few who escape morning sickness, you’ll likely find yourself hunched over the toilet, wishing for relief. Spoiler alert: throwing up doesn’t usually help, and you might end up doing it more. Morning sickness is a cruel mistress.

Drunk: Unless you’ve got the sense to stop before it gets bad, you’ll probably find yourself in the same position, praying for relief. Spoiler alert: you might purge and rally, but the aftermath is definitely not pretty.

Driving? Not a Good Idea

Pregnant: There’s no official rule against driving while pregnant, but with the giant belly, random aches, and pregnancy-induced rage, it’s better to hand over the keys to someone who isn’t carrying a tiny human.

Drunk: Just don’t drive. Seriously.

Napping is a New Hobby

Pregnant: You might plan to just rest your eyes for a second while watching some Food Network (or HGTV, if that makes you nauseous), only to wake up hours later, drooling and oblivious to what just happened.

Drunk: You and your partner might start a Netflix binge while sipping cocktails. Before you know it, you wake up on the couch, confused but still dressed, and wondering how you got there.

Memory? What Memory?

Pregnant: Where are your sunglasses? Who knows! And your phone? Oh, it’s in your hand. Did you do that laundry? Probably not—wait, what’s that smell? Better snack instead.

Drunk: Sunglasses? No idea. Phone? Oh look, it’s in your shoe. Why? Who cares, time for a snack!

Cravings are Real

Pregnant: You might find your taste buds all over the place—eating things you never thought you would just because you need to fuel that growing baby.

Drunk: Same kind of deal when you’re tipsy—grabbing whatever you can find to soak up the alcohol, even if it’s something bizarre.

Frequent Trips to the Bathroom

Pregnant: Congrats! Your bladder just lost a battle to your uterus. Get ready for bathroom breaks every 15 minutes from here on out.

Drunk: You’ve broken the seal! Prepare for a night of constant trips to the restroom.

Wardrobe Malfunctions? Who Cares!

Pregnant: You might realize you’ve been walking around with your belly exposed and those cute maternity tops barely covering anything. Look away, or don’t—it’s whatever.

Drunk: In the moment, you probably won’t care if you flashed someone because you forgot you were wearing a skirt. Later, you’ll think about wearing jeans next time.

The Vow of “Never Again”

Pregnant: You might not think this until you’re in labor, feeling like, “How do women do this repeatedly? I’m exhausted, can’t sleep, and my body feels like it’s going through a marathon!” But then, the baby arrives, and suddenly you’re contemplating “maybe just one more.”

Drunk: You might not think it while you’re partying, but come morning, you’ll swear to never drink again. Fast forward a few weeks, and you’re right back at it with friends, wondering why you keep doing this to yourself.

With all these similarities, it’s no surprise that some of us might have ended up pregnant after a few too many drinks and a lapse in contraception. But hey, who’s judging? For more insights on pregnancy and related topics, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy.

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Summary

Pregnancy and drunkenness share numerous similarities—from emotional roller coasters to bizarre cravings and constant bathroom trips. Whether you’re navigating the ups and downs of carrying a baby or recovering from a night out, both experiences can be surprisingly similar. Just remember to take care of yourself, and you’ll be fine.